Hellcreep's Home for Battered Demons

So there I was - the day scheduled to leave for Golden, CO. Leaving the neighborhood tankbag-plaza. A week and a half of vacation taken from work. Whizzing low-speed out of a parking lot onto a highway access road, I engage the throttle.

Not the kind of engagement you give the woman you've dated who never gave you more than a wrist-off, but the kind of creative-visualization one might conjure in a flea-ridden Mexican brothel: get the job done and get out.

*AE ALERT* The electronic clutch engaged romantically but I was a rake. Through a puddle on a turn and bang!

CalSci windshield popped off. My ego was almost as smashed as the left mirror. Throw a half-melted slider into the brew and a bruised (but not broken!) elbow and you have a depressed Hellcreep. Throttle arm swollen, I cancelled NAFO and wept - inside.

It took me awhile to figure out what the hell had happened. It was only after a post in here that it all dawned on me. No, the back tire didn't magically flip out from under me. I didn't hydroplane like a bloodsucking mosquito on the stagnant pond of synchronicity. Electronic clutch. Lack of prescience. Insensitivity. The very things the wife complains about (minus the clutch).

Zip to present day. The bike looks moderately infernal - H.R. Giger paintjob is still waiting to be done.

Farkle observations on my 2007AE:

N-Line Shelf: excellent. The "SPIRIT OF '66" Demon-Bell even hangs from the stem bracket.

CalSci: pops off too easily - which may be good. The shield itself didn't break. Quiet. Hot in Texas heat!

Zumo550/XM/Starcom1Digital: All good.

PCIII w/ Pickles/KFN map: assists in the medium-low to high fire range.

WildBillsPegs: Worth their weight in brimstone

BillMeyerSeat: Acceptable, improvement over stock. I'm sure there's better.

G2: A MUST! This is what fixed the low-end phantasmajump

Grip Puppies: Allows me to get blisters from other, more nefarious activities in plea for wife-response behavior enhancement

The AE in general: I dig it following lessons-learned.

Now is the time for all good men to sleep off the afternoon Texas margaritas-------

---hlellcreep

You cancelled the trip for a pansy-assed get-off like that?

Dude. Improvise, adapt, and overcome!

SkooterG said:

You cancelled the trip for a pansy-assed get-off like that?
Dude. Improvise, adapt, and overcome!

Click to expand...

Pfff!! My throttle-arm elbow was swollen up the size of a grapefruit! I need insurance that covers urgent-care bionic reinforcements!

hellcreep said:

So there I was - the day scheduled to leave for Golden, CO. Leaving the neighborhood tankbag-plaza. A week and a half of vacation taken from work. Whizzing low-speed out of a parking lot onto a highway access road, I engage the throttle.
Not the kind of engagement you give the woman you've dated who never gave you more than a wrist-off, but the kind of creative-visualization one might conjure in a flea-ridden Mexican brothel: get the job done and get out.

*AE ALERT* The electronic clutch engaged romantically but I was a rake. Through a puddle on a turn and bang!

CalSci windshield popped off. My ego was almost as smashed as the left mirror. Throw a half-melted slider into the brew and a bruised (but not broken!) elbow and you have a depressed Hellcreep. Throttle arm swollen, I cancelled NAFO and wept - inside.

It took me awhile to figure out what the hell had happened. It was only after a post in here that it all dawned on me. No, the back tire didn't magically flip out from under me. I didn't hydroplane like a bloodsucking mosquito on the stagnant pond of synchronicity. Electronic clutch. Lack of prescience. Insensitivity. The very things the wife complains about (minus the clutch).

Zip to present day. The bike looks moderately infernal - H.R. Giger paintjob is still waiting to be done.

Farkle observations on my 2007AE:

N-Line Shelf: excellent. The "SPIRIT OF '66" Demon-Bell even hangs from the stem bracket.

CalSci: pops off too easily - which may be good. The shield itself didn't break. Quiet. Hot in Texas heat!

Zumo550/XM/Starcom1Digital: All good.

PCIII w/ Pickles/KFN map: assists in the medium-low to high fire range.

WildBillsPegs: Worth their weight in brimstone

BillMeyerSeat: Acceptable, improvement over stock. I'm sure there's better.

G2: A MUST! This is what fixed the low-end phantasmajump

Grip Puppies: Allows me to get blisters from other, more nefarious activities in plea for wife-response behavior enhancement

The AE in general: I dig it following lessons-learned.

Now is the time for all good men to sleep off the afternoon Texas margaritas-------

---hlellcreep

Click to expand...

'

Let me make sure I understand...you're saying that the electronic clutch engaged too 'harshly' causing the rear tire to break loose when you were leaned over?

Personally, that has always been my fear regarding a fully automatic motorcycle, as 'high performance' driving in an automatic car will do the same thing, but at least in a car you have some time to catch the tail before it swings too wide on you, on the bike that would be a wipe-out...

Well, he was only starting out. It's not like he was an hour short of Golden.

I almost blew the trip off myself, without even crashing. Any unexpected crap in the first couple hours, I would probably have turned back.

You Iron Butt guys are cut from a different cloth. At least he didn't trailer it there.

I wonder what the total number of no-shows was....

SkooterG said:

You cancelled the trip for a pansy-assed get-off like that?
Dude. Improvise, adapt, and overcome!

Click to expand...

You need to listen to someone whose bike is named FLIPPER... CRASHER... Wasn't that one of the Raindeer names????

Sorry about the get off...

chrisflock said:

Let me make sure I understand...you're saying that the electronic clutch engaged too 'harshly' causing the rear tire to break loose when you were leaned over?
Personally, that has always been my fear regarding a fully automatic motorcycle, as 'high performance' driving in an automatic car will do the same thing, but at least in a car you have some time to catch the tail before it swings too wide on you, on the bike that would be a wipe-out...

Click to expand...

Dont... I ride mine a bit hard at times and have done two track days with it.. The AE works like a dream. 10 miles short of 24K

Cdogman said:

chrisflock said:

Let me make sure I understand...you're saying that the electronic clutch engaged too 'harshly' causing the rear tire to break loose when you were leaned over?
Personally, that has always been my fear regarding a fully automatic motorcycle, as 'high performance' driving in an automatic car will do the same thing, but at least in a car you have some time to catch the tail before it swings too wide on you, on the bike that would be a wipe-out...

Click to expand...

Dont... I ride mine a bit hard at times and have done two track days with it.. The AE works like a dream. 10 miles short of 24K

Click to expand...

However, Cdogman, it's sooooo much easier to blame the bike rather than the rider for not being aware of the situation or the possibilities of sudden clutch engagement commensurate with copious amounts of throttle input.

I wonder what anyone would blame had it been a standard model that, with the throttle application, spun the rear tire with the same result?

Sorry about the crash and the ruined (delayed?) trip. I'd probably have done the same thing, but ScooterG or Beeroux would have bought more screws and a roll of duct tape and been off on vacation! To them it's all part of the adventure! :dribble:

I thought I was clear on the blame --- my lack of electronic clutch-engagement knowledge! I don't think it engaged too harshly - I just wasn't in touch with when it did & the right neoconservative amount of throttle to apply. If I'd been riding a nonAE it could very well be......... my misappropriation of clutch knowledge...!

I'll make no bones about it. I didn't blame the bike.

I was indeterminably sad about not making NAFO. In retrospect, I'm glad I learned my lesson close to home rather than on a mountain twist. I could already be reincarnating by now...!

------hellcreep

Reincarnation: revenge without satisfaction.

SkooterG said:

You cancelled the trip for a pansy-assed get-off like that?
Dude. Improvise, adapt, and overcome!

Click to expand...

I set out without him and had an excellent time.

Which farkle will help me with my insensitivity again?

hellcreep said:

So there I was - the day scheduled to leave for Golden, CO. Leaving the neighborhood tankbag-plaza. A week and a half of vacation taken from work. Whizzing low-speed out of a parking lot onto a highway access road, I engage the throttle...blah blah blah <snip>
---hlellcreep

Click to expand...

You crashed because AE is WEIRD.

BugzyMacCode said:

Which farkle will help me with my insensitivity again?

Click to expand...

Unwrap the third iteration of chickenwire I installed from around your neckline and you'll get an improved O2 response! :>

hellcreep said:

So there I was - the day scheduled to leave for Golden, CO. Leaving the neighborhood tankbag-plaza. A week and a half of vacation taken from work. Whizzing low-speed out of a parking lot onto a highway access road, I engage the throttle.
Not the kind of engagement you give the woman you've dated who never gave you more than a wrist-off, but the kind of creative-visualization one might conjure in a flea-ridden Mexican brothel: get the job done and get out.

*AE ALERT* The electronic clutch engaged romantically but I was a rake. Through a puddle on a turn and bang!

CalSci windshield popped off. My ego was almost as smashed as the left mirror. Throw a half-melted slider into the brew and a bruised (but not broken!) elbow and you have a depressed Hellcreep. Throttle arm swollen, I cancelled NAFO and wept - inside.

It took me awhile to figure out what the hell had happened. It was only after a post in here that it all dawned on me. No, the back tire didn't magically flip out from under me. I didn't hydroplane like a bloodsucking mosquito on the stagnant pond of synchronicity. Electronic clutch. Lack of prescience. Insensitivity. The very things the wife complains about (minus the clutch).

Zip to present day. The bike looks moderately infernal - H.R. Giger paintjob is still waiting to be done.

Farkle observations on my 2007AE:

N-Line Shelf: excellent. The "SPIRIT OF '66" Demon-Bell even hangs from the stem bracket.

CalSci: pops off too easily - which may be good. The shield itself didn't break. Quiet. Hot in Texas heat!

Zumo550/XM/Starcom1Digital: All good.

PCIII w/ Pickles/KFN map: assists in the medium-low to high fire range.

WildBillsPegs: Worth their weight in brimstone

BillMeyerSeat: Acceptable, improvement over stock. I'm sure there's better.

G2: A MUST! This is what fixed the low-end phantasmajump

Grip Puppies: Allows me to get blisters from other, more nefarious activities in plea for wife-response behavior enhancement

The AE in general: I dig it following lessons-learned.

Now is the time for all good men to sleep off the afternoon Texas margaritas-------

---hlellcreep

Click to expand...

Hellcreep:

Brilliant short-story / autobiography. I look forward to the next installment, although I hope it has nothing to do with bike drops. Seriously, you are a terrific writer. I'm glad you are ok and sorry the trip got effed up.

Cuervo or Patron...?

I prefer the Patron Resposado for my cocktails....fresh lemon and lime juice, shaken on the rocks, sea salt on the rim...