Time to come out of the closet

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Blubyu

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Jul 7, 2014
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Location
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This could probably go in the Ride Report section but it has a tie to the PNW so I thought I would post it here.

Quick bit about myself. I have owned my 2007 FJR since 2012. Every year since I have taken it on a one week trip. 2012 - Grand Canyon. 2013 - Mount Rushmoore. This story will be about my 2014 trip.

I am sure that most of you have heard stories about people "borrowing" garden gnomes, taking them on trips, taking pics of the gnomes on the trips, and then returning a photo album along with the gnome when the trip was over. I have always wanted to do this but have always been too lazy to plan things out. Well last year I pulled it off. My biggest fear about doing this was whether the people I "borrowed" the gnome from would be upset that their gnome went missing. Well read to the end of this story and you will see how that turned out
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I live in a typical housing development. I have lived here for almost 5 years. When I started to plan my trip for last summer I started to scout out the houses around me to find the perfect gnome. Coming home from work one day I found one. It was about 7 houses down from me, just sitting in the yard. Easy pickens. I don't know these people so that would make it even better. Well three days before my trip, things changed. I was coming home and another house had just put their pride and joy of a new gnome out in their front yard....a Seattle Seahawks gnome. These people are big Seahawks fans. Personal Seahawks license plates. 12th man flag in the window. Decorations on the front door. I thought to myself this would be perfect. So the first pic I took for the trip was of the gnome in the yard. I actually took the pic so that I would remember which house the gnome was so that I could put it back when I got done.

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I was planning on getting up and leaving around 3:00 am. So I got up, got dressed and walked down the street to the house. I picked up the gnome, stuck it in my backpack and away I went. Once back to my house I mounted the FJR and I was away. The plan for the first day was to ride to Boise ID. So I started down I5. I made a quick stop at a rest stop and then I was back on the road again.

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I took I5 down to Vancouver and then headed east along I84. I made a quick stop at the Stonehenge Memorial at Maryhill, Wash. and took this quick pic.

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As I was getting ready to leave, a family pulled up in a minivan and got out. Just my luck, the father was wearing a Seahawks hat. I asked them if he and his family would pose with my gnome. After he looked at me funny for a few seconds he said sure.

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After that pic I got back on the bike and headed towards Boise. I took 97 down through Central Oregon and then took 20 from Bend to I84 and then landed in Boise. After I checked into my hotel I went to Twin Peaks for dinner.

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The next day I got up and had a nice leisurely ride from Boise to Cedar City Utah.

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The following day was going to be a fun one. The goal was to get up early and get through Zion. But first we had to have breakfast.

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After that it was off to Zion.

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Once through Zion I was on my way to the Grand Canyon.

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And finally the day ended in Las Vegas.

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And once again I stopped at Twin Peaks
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After spending a few days in Vegas relaxing it was time to head home. But I had a couple of more stops along the way. First....Death Valley.

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Note to anybody going through Death Valley. If you get a flat tire outside of Vegas when you leave early in the morning, do not attempt to go through Death Valley after you get it fixed. I left Vegas after getting my tired fixed around 12:30 pm. Temp on the bike read 119 degrees as I went through Death Valley. Not fun. I stopped at the small rest stop at the top and when I got off it felt like it was 65 degrees out. It was *only* 99 degrees. This was my second time through Death Valley. If you get up early enough and get through early it really is a nice ride. Anyway....after Death Valley it was over to San Francisco.

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As I was taking that picture a woman came up to me and asked me why I was taking a picture of a gnome. I told her my story and she thought it the coolest thing she had heard. So she made her daughter and her daughters friend get a picture with my gnome
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After San Francisco I took 101 up the coast and finally came back home. Trip number one for the Summer of 2014 was in the books.

The plan at this point was to print out all of the pics I took (I haven't posted all them. I have a lot more) and put them in an album and put the gnome back. That of course didn't happen. One week went by. Then two. Then a month. Then two. Then one day my buddy was asking me if I was going to go on another trip. He had a few days off and wanted to go somewhere. So I planned out a trip for us to go to Yellowstone. The plan was that we both would go to Yellowstone. After that he would split off and head back home. I would continue on down to Vegas and relax for a few days and then come back home.

So the night before I left for my trip my daughter came over. She was going to house sit and take care of my cat for me while I was gone. She knew about the gnome and thought it was the dumbest thing she had ever heard. When she walked into my house and saw the gnome still sitting on my kitchen counter she went nuts. She proceeded to yell at me for the next 5 minutes on how rude it was to not have taken the gnome back yet. For a minute I forgot who was the parent and who was the child
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So the next day my buddy and I headed out. We headed over white pass to yakima.

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We followed 12 all the way over Lolo Pass.

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ok....I guess I have to have one bike pic in this thread right?

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When we stopped for the customary state sign...

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We ran into this couple. They were from Chicago and had flown to Seattle. They shipped their bike there and were riding back home. They were on their way to Sturgis when we met them.

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The next morning we got up and headed to our goal....Yellowstone.

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After getting through Yellowstone we headed south and was able to make it to the Grand Tetons.

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The next day we parted ways. I rode around for another day and then the following day I arrived back in Vegas. And where did I have dinner while in Vegas.....Twin Peaks of course.

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After relaxing in Sin City for a few days I headed up to Reno to spend the night. The following day I drove home but not without stopping for one last picture.

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So now my journey was complete. I had a ton of pictures that I had taken with this gnome. I started to think that maybe a photo album wasn't good enough. I decided that I would make a calendar instead. I fired up iPhoto on my iMac and added all of the photos that I had taken (all of the photos with the seahawks gnome anyway). I then got out the Seahawks upcoming 2014 schedule and added those dates to the calendar. I sent it off to be printed and I got it back about a week later. This turned out to be perfect timing since the following day was the season opener for the Seahawks. So I got up early the next morning, walked down to the house and put the calendar and gnome on the doorstep and walked back home. I could only hope that the owners would like what I had done.

You would think that would be the end of the story and hopefully you are still reading........because what came next was pretty cool.

About 3 weeks later I was sitting at a local tavern with some friends of mine getting ready for the Thursday night football game between the Steelers and the Ravens. Oh wait, did I forget to tell you that I am NOT a Seahawks fan? That's right....I am a STEELERS fan!!!!

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So we are all sitting down having a beer when I get a text from a friend of mine. She says that her and her daughter were sitting on their couch watch KOMO news and they just saw a story about the gnome that I borrowed on TV. You see, during both trips I was posting all of the pics I took on to my Facebook page. So all my friends knew what was going on.

My friends and I got on our phones and looked up the KOMO website and sure enough, there was a story on their webpage about it. Here is a link to the original story.

https://www.komonews.com/news/local/Kidnapped-Seahawks-garden-gnome-returns-home-with-a-twist-274834841.html

The next morning the story was running on a lot of the major news websites (ABC, CNN, NBC). I had an old high school friend who is living in Michigan say they saw the story on their local news. But wait......theres more
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About three months after that above story ran I had a coworker call me at lunch and say her husband had just got done watching a story about the gnome on ESPN. This was a different story then the KOMO one. Turns out ESPN saw the story and decided to fly some people out to Washington to do their own story. Here is a link to that story.

https://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:11794768

So after all this time, why am I now posting about it on an online forum? After the KOMO story ran I found out that the owners of the gnome frequent the same local pub that I do. All of the staff at this pub knew it was me but none of them would tell the gnome owners. I kind of liked them not knowing. The mystery of not knowing I though would be better. Well a few weeks ago, the friend that went to Yellowstone was with me at this local pub and sure enough the gnome owners were there too. After a few beers I decided I would go up and tell them who I was. I pulled up the very first picture of their gnome in their front yard on my phone and then walked over to them. I leaned in between them and asked if this picture looked familiar
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The wife looked at me and said "No F**king way!!"

So in the end, everything turned out so much better then I could have imagined. I had a great trip and I was able to put a smile one somebody face. Thats a win-win in my book.

 
Ha! Great story. Far better than what I expected for this forum: another routine tale admitting to an alternative sexual preference. But speaking of sexual preference, that gnome sure gets a lot of babeage!

 
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Loved the story! Not being a football fan, I would never have heard of this, so thank you for sharing! I wish I could 'like' your post multiple times.

Although we accept all kinds here with no judgement, I echo the relief that this wasn't the other kind of coming out story..
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PS - Glad you didn't get eaten by the Pitbulls...
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That is awesome!!!! Glad you were able to take him on a great journey, and have him see some amazing views!!!!

It would be just my luck, I would try something like that.... And it would not end on such a positive note.... :D

 
GREAT story! And great photos. Me thinks there may be an abundance of photos in the near future with hot chicks holding cute gnomes...

 
Gotta get a Gnome. No doubt about it. great report
Who knew that gnomes had that effect?

So, yeah, that's gone right to the top of my list, too. At the rate that gnome attracts attractive young women with semi-bare breasts, maybe even a little idea plagiarism is excusable. I mean: how hard must it be to approximate what Blubyu* said to those young lamb-ettes to get them to pose with the gnome?

It's also worth noting that the chances of getting shot or incarcerated for s.t.e.a.l.i.n.g. a neighborhood gnome are nil when you bring your own.

* nice double entendre, btw

 
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Excellent story and pictures.

(I may or may not be strolling around my neighborhood late at night, taking a gnome inventory.)

 
We did that to my buddie's neighbors gnome years ago for a trip to Puerto Peñasco. This was before digital cameras were popular, so we developed the pictures and put them in a manila envelope under the gnome on their door step. We're idiots. Never thought of getting strange nice breasted women to pose with him.

Glad you had fun.

 
One of the best trip reports I have ever read. I may need to go back and re-read. And damn! You meet the nicest people with a gnome.

Thanks

 
Simply awesome, nice finish too!

I remember that story on KOMO and was thinking it would be a fun thing to do. Sounds like it was!!

--G

 
Thanks everybody for the kind words. On my long trips I have always taken my Steelers gnome and taken pics with it. It is pretty easy to get people to pose with it. Most of them just look at you funny and go along with it. I have only had one person tell me no. A female bartender at Casa Fuente in Vegas. She wanted nothing to do with the gnome :)

The funniest reaction I have ever gotten about my gnome was from Ryan Hunter Ray. For those of you that don't know him he is an Indy car driver. I was at the race in Sonoma a couple of years ago and my friend and I had pit passes. We were walking along the pits and Ryan was giving an interview for someobdy. He had quite a crowd around him watching him give the interview. I moved my way up to the front and as soon as the interview was over I tossed my gnome at him and asked if I could get a pic. He looked at the gnome and was about to thow it back to me and say no. I think the peer pressure of the crowd around him made him pose with it though. The expression on his face is priceless.

Here is another funny thing about the story. Most of the pics with girls from Vegas are girls that I know. When I flew down there last November for Thanksgiving I went to see a couple of them. I wanted to tell them about the ESPN story. I walked up to a place called StripBurger where I have lunch whenever I am in Vegas. Rebekah is usually the bartender and I did have her take a pic with the gnome and she was one of the pics they showed on the ESPN story. As soon as I walked up to the bar she started smiling and lauging. She told me that she was working when the story ran on ESPN and about 30 minutes after it was over, her facebook account started blowing up. All of her friends were posting that they just saw her on ESPN. She had no idea what was going on. Thankfully her husband taped it for her and she was able to watch it when she got home. I then walked down to Twin Peaks to talk to the other girl and she told me the exact same story. She was getting texts all day long telling her they had just seen her on ESPN. Needless to say I drank free that day in Vegas :)

 
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