BkerChuck
Second hand vegetarian
Having enjoyed reading so many of the ride reports everyone has posted here, my wife suggested that maybe it’s time to give something back. Here’s my first attempt at posting one of these so please be gentle!
Shortly after the purchase of my FJR I attended a RTE in Bedford, PA where for the first time in my life I met an actual finisher from the Iron Butt Rally. I was familiar with it, having read magazine articles but I’d never met anyone who had actually taken part in that level of insanity. Over breakfast that morning I listened in to tales of the IBR and other smaller and shorter rallies I’d never heard of. I laughed until my face hurt at some of the exploits these riders had been through and stories of the places they’d been. When I got home later that day I repeated some of what I’d heard to my wife and she agreed this sounded like our twisted idea of a good time. The next spring we rode in our first LD rally, the Mason-Dixon 20/20, and we were hooked. It was during that event we first met Jonathan Hammy Tan.
Hammy is a 2015 IBR finisher and part time rally master who for the past 3 or 4 years has put on a couple of smaller rallies. Each spring he runs an 8 hour rally under some fairly relaxed rules to allow newcomers to get their feet wet and experienced rally riders to get some practice for the bigger events. Saturday May 14th was the running of the “Wild, Weird, And Wacky” rally. Since many on this forum are armchair followers of the IBR I won’t bore you with excessive details. For those unfamiliar with this type of rally, I’d describe it as a scavenger hunt by bike. Instead of having to carry a bunch of objects back to the finish line though you take pictures to prove you were there.
A little more than a week before the official start all riders were emailed a bonus list. This is a sort of menu listing locations that are available to visit, how many points they’re worth, and any time constraints such as “only after 10:30 am”. Using this list riders try to plot a path scoring as many points as they can in the time allotted. Hammy allows his riders to start from anywhere they wish but everybody will finish at Yoder’s Family Restaurant in New Holland, PA because they allow us the use of a banquet room and he likes the all you can eat buffet.
The bonus list for this rally was fairly short as such things go. 32 possible locations from Bedford, PA in the west to Philadelphia, PA in the east. Washington, D.C. In the south to Boyertown, PA in the north. Point values ranged from 1 point to 5 points with a few exceptions. Hagerstown, MD, Annapolis, MD, and Boyertown, PA were each considered WILD and required taking multiple photos but if completed in their entirety were worth 20 points per town. Additionally a combo bonus named TARDIS was available for getting part or all of the 3 WILD bonuses plus a stop in Wilmington, DE and one of 5 possible locations in Philly. Not being a Dr. Who fan I had to Google Tardis to discover it’s his time traveling vehicle leading me to quickly realize this could be tough.
We spent some time looking at Basecamp with the bonus locations and finish line marked off and tried to make some sense of it. Deciding the only really good choice was to go big, we plotted a course that would get us all 3 WILD locations, the Wilmington stop and a location on the outskirts of Philly to get the TARDIS combo. Additionally we would try to get the LIVE and ART bonuses. Each of these required 5 photos of animals, in this case 5 living and 5 sculptures of animals but cats and dogs weren’t allowed just to make it a challenge. The only way to pull this off was to start as close as possible to one of the WILD locations so we planned on leaving early and riding to Hagerstown for our start.
Saturday we woke before the alarm at 4:30 am and after quick showers finished loading our bikes and headed out. Traffic at this time of day was light and we rolled into a Waffle House before 7 and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. No food porn here, it’s just Waffle House. I’d already located a gas station in close proximity to the bonus location so we rolled over there and waited for the clock. Official start time was 08:00 but our benevolent rally master was allowing a receipt as early as 07:55. Tanks topped off at 07:56 and we’re now “on the clock”.
The ride from the Exxon to the bonus location was less than a mile and we quickly note that several other riders must have made the same decision. It was comical watching 8 bikes perform a sort of motorcycle ballet jockeying for positions to take pictures of 5 large painted butterflies that had been erected along the main street. Mona and I know we’re not shooting for a win. We’re solid middle of the pack ralliers but we have fun. I’d allotted 20 minutes for this stop and within less than 10 we were done. Nothing wrong with banking a few minutes early on they may come in handy later on.
Picture of one of the butterflies
Next stop Annapolis, MD to find some chickens. Apparently the city allowed some form of an art installation featuring a multitude of custom painted chickens. We need photos of 5 to get the full 20 points. The road from Hagerstown to Annapolis was all slab and traffic was moving at a far quicker pace than we expected. Looking down at her GPS my wife asked if I realized just how fast we were travelling. Of course I did, there’s a Zumo 660 right in front of me! We’re in the right lane moving with the flow of traffic which happens to be doing over 90 at this point Saturday morning! Not bad, we’re making good time. Rolling into Annapolis we see a Harley with Ontario plates and realize it’s the same rider we’d seen earlier in Hagerstown. He’d ridden down from Canada just to play. Following Ms. Garmin’s directions we’re soon on the street we need and once more scurry from statue to statue snapping pictures with our rally flags in them. We take 6 pictures figuring we can use the extra as one for the ART bonus.
Picture of chicken.
Enroute now towards Wilmington, DE we’re going to need fuel soon. We’re close to Elkton, MD and from a previous trip we recall seeing painted elk around the town and stop off for another sculpture towards our ART bonus. A quick stop at a gas station, eat a granola bar and split a bottle of water and back towards Wilmington to find dinosaurs. Hammy used this exact same bonus location on a rally last year so we know what we’re looking for. As we approach the bonus location we see a seafood restaurant with a giant fish hanging over the door. We make a note to get a photo on the way back out.
Dino executive
Next up the haul towards Philadelphia, PA and the possibility, make that probability of traffic. We need to get to the Laurel Hill Cemetery to pay our respects to Rocky’s late wife. When Adrian Balboa died in one of the Rocky movies a headstone was erected in this cemetery. Seeing the Styrofoam headstone the studio chose to put up, Sylvester Stallone put up his own money and had a real headstone erected for his movie character’s beloved. It was at this point our plan went downhill. St. John’s University was holding graduation today and we had to ride right past it to get to the bonus. We watched as our estimated finish time got closer and closer to 4:00. Sitting through multiple light cycles and shuttle buses we lost close to 45 minutes while the fans on both bikes cycled on and off sitting in traffic. Finally we clear the college and make it to our stop.
Headstone of Adrian Balboa.
We have no extra time to waste and slugging down another bottle of water we point our bikes towards Boyertown, PA to go bear hunting. Boyertown has installed more than 70 fiberglass bears custom painted by various artists. We need only 1 to score the TARDIS bonus but are allowed up to 20 at one point each. We’ve been through this town before and had seen these bears but never stopped. I’d already printed out a map from the internet telling us where to find them. Parking in an empty bank parking lot we were able to walk around and get several photos of bears and a small lion sculpture to finish our ART bonus. Knowing the clock is running we mount up and head for the finish.
Bear sculpture
Lion sculpture.
By this point the Garmin is estimating our arrival at 3:58 the closest finish we’ll have ever had. Heading towards New Holland, PA the skies are getting increasingly dark and we’re starting to see water drops on our face shields. I tell my wife we’d better pull over and put on rain pants. Mona expresses her concern we could DNF and wants to take the chance we’ll pass through it or get lucky and it’ll miss us. I reject her request and insist I’m pulling over. Alongside the road we find a wide pull off and quickly put on our rain pants. Garmin now indicates a 4:00 arrival and we need to keep moving. Fortunately traffic is light and we’re soon catching up to 2 other rally riders. Moving along in what’s now a steady rain with gusts of wind we make up first 1 minute and then another. Sitting at the final traffic light to turn into the restaurant we see another rider coming from the other direction. The light changes and 5 bikes all pull in together as the rally staff checks our odometers and records our finish time as 3:58. We’ve made it!
Inside the restaurant has a banquet room set aside for the rally and we find seats with some riders we’ve met before. Filling out our score sheets we check the pictures on our cameras and wait our turn for scoring. I’m scored by an IBR finisher who has ridden in to volunteer to help Hammy with his rally. I get all of the bonuses I claimed and finish with a score of 96 points. My wife sits down to be scored and has the misfortune of discovering one of her pictures doesn’t show her rider number leaving her with a score of 95. These scores ultimately give us 7th and 8th places out of 19 finishers. By the time we make it home after the banquet I show over 470 miles for the day in about 13 ½ hours.
Odo picture.
If you’ve followed the IBR or the Butt Lite, and you’d like to try one of these events yourself, do it! You may just see some things and meet some people that will enrichen your life. Thanks for reading.
Shortly after the purchase of my FJR I attended a RTE in Bedford, PA where for the first time in my life I met an actual finisher from the Iron Butt Rally. I was familiar with it, having read magazine articles but I’d never met anyone who had actually taken part in that level of insanity. Over breakfast that morning I listened in to tales of the IBR and other smaller and shorter rallies I’d never heard of. I laughed until my face hurt at some of the exploits these riders had been through and stories of the places they’d been. When I got home later that day I repeated some of what I’d heard to my wife and she agreed this sounded like our twisted idea of a good time. The next spring we rode in our first LD rally, the Mason-Dixon 20/20, and we were hooked. It was during that event we first met Jonathan Hammy Tan.
Hammy is a 2015 IBR finisher and part time rally master who for the past 3 or 4 years has put on a couple of smaller rallies. Each spring he runs an 8 hour rally under some fairly relaxed rules to allow newcomers to get their feet wet and experienced rally riders to get some practice for the bigger events. Saturday May 14th was the running of the “Wild, Weird, And Wacky” rally. Since many on this forum are armchair followers of the IBR I won’t bore you with excessive details. For those unfamiliar with this type of rally, I’d describe it as a scavenger hunt by bike. Instead of having to carry a bunch of objects back to the finish line though you take pictures to prove you were there.
A little more than a week before the official start all riders were emailed a bonus list. This is a sort of menu listing locations that are available to visit, how many points they’re worth, and any time constraints such as “only after 10:30 am”. Using this list riders try to plot a path scoring as many points as they can in the time allotted. Hammy allows his riders to start from anywhere they wish but everybody will finish at Yoder’s Family Restaurant in New Holland, PA because they allow us the use of a banquet room and he likes the all you can eat buffet.
The bonus list for this rally was fairly short as such things go. 32 possible locations from Bedford, PA in the west to Philadelphia, PA in the east. Washington, D.C. In the south to Boyertown, PA in the north. Point values ranged from 1 point to 5 points with a few exceptions. Hagerstown, MD, Annapolis, MD, and Boyertown, PA were each considered WILD and required taking multiple photos but if completed in their entirety were worth 20 points per town. Additionally a combo bonus named TARDIS was available for getting part or all of the 3 WILD bonuses plus a stop in Wilmington, DE and one of 5 possible locations in Philly. Not being a Dr. Who fan I had to Google Tardis to discover it’s his time traveling vehicle leading me to quickly realize this could be tough.
We spent some time looking at Basecamp with the bonus locations and finish line marked off and tried to make some sense of it. Deciding the only really good choice was to go big, we plotted a course that would get us all 3 WILD locations, the Wilmington stop and a location on the outskirts of Philly to get the TARDIS combo. Additionally we would try to get the LIVE and ART bonuses. Each of these required 5 photos of animals, in this case 5 living and 5 sculptures of animals but cats and dogs weren’t allowed just to make it a challenge. The only way to pull this off was to start as close as possible to one of the WILD locations so we planned on leaving early and riding to Hagerstown for our start.
Saturday we woke before the alarm at 4:30 am and after quick showers finished loading our bikes and headed out. Traffic at this time of day was light and we rolled into a Waffle House before 7 and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. No food porn here, it’s just Waffle House. I’d already located a gas station in close proximity to the bonus location so we rolled over there and waited for the clock. Official start time was 08:00 but our benevolent rally master was allowing a receipt as early as 07:55. Tanks topped off at 07:56 and we’re now “on the clock”.
The ride from the Exxon to the bonus location was less than a mile and we quickly note that several other riders must have made the same decision. It was comical watching 8 bikes perform a sort of motorcycle ballet jockeying for positions to take pictures of 5 large painted butterflies that had been erected along the main street. Mona and I know we’re not shooting for a win. We’re solid middle of the pack ralliers but we have fun. I’d allotted 20 minutes for this stop and within less than 10 we were done. Nothing wrong with banking a few minutes early on they may come in handy later on.
Picture of one of the butterflies
Next stop Annapolis, MD to find some chickens. Apparently the city allowed some form of an art installation featuring a multitude of custom painted chickens. We need photos of 5 to get the full 20 points. The road from Hagerstown to Annapolis was all slab and traffic was moving at a far quicker pace than we expected. Looking down at her GPS my wife asked if I realized just how fast we were travelling. Of course I did, there’s a Zumo 660 right in front of me! We’re in the right lane moving with the flow of traffic which happens to be doing over 90 at this point Saturday morning! Not bad, we’re making good time. Rolling into Annapolis we see a Harley with Ontario plates and realize it’s the same rider we’d seen earlier in Hagerstown. He’d ridden down from Canada just to play. Following Ms. Garmin’s directions we’re soon on the street we need and once more scurry from statue to statue snapping pictures with our rally flags in them. We take 6 pictures figuring we can use the extra as one for the ART bonus.
Picture of chicken.
Enroute now towards Wilmington, DE we’re going to need fuel soon. We’re close to Elkton, MD and from a previous trip we recall seeing painted elk around the town and stop off for another sculpture towards our ART bonus. A quick stop at a gas station, eat a granola bar and split a bottle of water and back towards Wilmington to find dinosaurs. Hammy used this exact same bonus location on a rally last year so we know what we’re looking for. As we approach the bonus location we see a seafood restaurant with a giant fish hanging over the door. We make a note to get a photo on the way back out.
Dino executive
Next up the haul towards Philadelphia, PA and the possibility, make that probability of traffic. We need to get to the Laurel Hill Cemetery to pay our respects to Rocky’s late wife. When Adrian Balboa died in one of the Rocky movies a headstone was erected in this cemetery. Seeing the Styrofoam headstone the studio chose to put up, Sylvester Stallone put up his own money and had a real headstone erected for his movie character’s beloved. It was at this point our plan went downhill. St. John’s University was holding graduation today and we had to ride right past it to get to the bonus. We watched as our estimated finish time got closer and closer to 4:00. Sitting through multiple light cycles and shuttle buses we lost close to 45 minutes while the fans on both bikes cycled on and off sitting in traffic. Finally we clear the college and make it to our stop.
Headstone of Adrian Balboa.
We have no extra time to waste and slugging down another bottle of water we point our bikes towards Boyertown, PA to go bear hunting. Boyertown has installed more than 70 fiberglass bears custom painted by various artists. We need only 1 to score the TARDIS bonus but are allowed up to 20 at one point each. We’ve been through this town before and had seen these bears but never stopped. I’d already printed out a map from the internet telling us where to find them. Parking in an empty bank parking lot we were able to walk around and get several photos of bears and a small lion sculpture to finish our ART bonus. Knowing the clock is running we mount up and head for the finish.
Bear sculpture
Lion sculpture.
By this point the Garmin is estimating our arrival at 3:58 the closest finish we’ll have ever had. Heading towards New Holland, PA the skies are getting increasingly dark and we’re starting to see water drops on our face shields. I tell my wife we’d better pull over and put on rain pants. Mona expresses her concern we could DNF and wants to take the chance we’ll pass through it or get lucky and it’ll miss us. I reject her request and insist I’m pulling over. Alongside the road we find a wide pull off and quickly put on our rain pants. Garmin now indicates a 4:00 arrival and we need to keep moving. Fortunately traffic is light and we’re soon catching up to 2 other rally riders. Moving along in what’s now a steady rain with gusts of wind we make up first 1 minute and then another. Sitting at the final traffic light to turn into the restaurant we see another rider coming from the other direction. The light changes and 5 bikes all pull in together as the rally staff checks our odometers and records our finish time as 3:58. We’ve made it!
Inside the restaurant has a banquet room set aside for the rally and we find seats with some riders we’ve met before. Filling out our score sheets we check the pictures on our cameras and wait our turn for scoring. I’m scored by an IBR finisher who has ridden in to volunteer to help Hammy with his rally. I get all of the bonuses I claimed and finish with a score of 96 points. My wife sits down to be scored and has the misfortune of discovering one of her pictures doesn’t show her rider number leaving her with a score of 95. These scores ultimately give us 7th and 8th places out of 19 finishers. By the time we make it home after the banquet I show over 470 miles for the day in about 13 ½ hours.
Odo picture.
If you’ve followed the IBR or the Butt Lite, and you’d like to try one of these events yourself, do it! You may just see some things and meet some people that will enrichen your life. Thanks for reading.
