bigjohnsd
2021 BMW R1250GSA
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She may be a "BREASTED AMERICAN," and some of them do go south for winter.
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She may be "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE," and just wants to let you know she is alive and well and enjoying life, that is, if you'll continue to help her focus on the enjoyments of life.
3. She is not "EASY" - She may be "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.", because an ear was designed for something else, and sometimes she really doesn't care to talk all the time, she's wants to be doing, not talking.
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.", so take a hint once and a while, and look on the bright side. Instead of wondering about her hair and the actual reailty of the root color of the folicles, just have faith and believe that she might have something really profound to say one day.
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She may be a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION, and that's in the past, and the now is the now. What's more important, you've drank out of many different glasses before haven't you and your still alive aren't you."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She may be or may not be "REALITY IMPAIRED, but then again what is the definition of reality anyways, and the impaired measurement process is not always acurrate."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED", but then again, who hasn't gotten inebriated at one time or another in their life, so cut loose and free yourself from all that misfocused stress."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED, cause maybe she likes it that way, or maybe - just maybe, she has wants and needs the attention."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE, cause sometimes a message or anadevrtisement needs to be repeated at least 7 times for it to sink in subliminally to the subconscious mind, as that is where all the real important sorting out and absorbing of thoughts takes place - at night when you sleep."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED, and it's not where the train has been, it's where it is stationed now, and maybe where it can take you to where you have never imagined before. Don't hesitate to jump on the train, if that's your choice, cause nobody's going to ask you for a ticket or a receipt."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR, so just appreciate the hard work that went into her exercise program to get her to the big leagues."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER, but then again, you always shop at discount stores anyways, so why does it really matter who's giving you a break anyways."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY, cause he's always dreamed of being the master controller liquid taste tester of hundreds of practical uses of the stuff shipped out from the grain baskets of America."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN, and never really taken the time to watch a Latino couple really enjoy the fruits of the togetherness of life before."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS, and he gets home, cause that's where the food gets cooked, and the laundry gets done, as if by magic."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION, and then again, that one hair was getting rather lonely on his back anyways, and he would never allow me to pull it out. Now there is something new to talk about when things get disgressive in the relationship."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS, and he knows not how and exactly when he is going to meet his maker, he just needs to be reminded once and a while that his time will come soon enough, if he wants to digress.
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL," and his favorite bartender can't seem to understand that when limit switches were being handed out, he was in the pub trying to see if his still had a functional on or off switch and a lifetime warranty.
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.", but he's bound to have stiffer competition somewhere else on this planet, so one must accept that at least he's trying to competitive in life.
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY," and rolling around in it seems be alot of fun for him, if only he wouldn't get so dirty in the process and come out of the barn once and a while to enjoy the sunshine.
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED," and I am sure he must have been dropped on his head when he was a baby, so perhaps he still feels somewhat rejected, and needs to be reassured that being dropped doesn't always have to happen, that is, unless he likes landing on his head.
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED," but perhaps he just gets to focused on the horn, and not enough on playing with the right hooters.
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE.", and that's just what happens to men that choose to have C brand butts.
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She may be a "BREASTED AMERICAN," and some of them do go south for winter.
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She may be "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE," and just wants to let you know she is alive and well and enjoying life, that is, if you'll continue to help her focus on the enjoyments of life.
3. She is not "EASY" - She may be "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.", because an ear was designed for something else, and sometimes she really doesn't care to talk all the time, she's wants to be doing, not talking.
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.", so take a hint once and a while, and look on the bright side. Instead of wondering about her hair and the actual reailty of the root color of the folicles, just have faith and believe that she might have something really profound to say one day.
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She may be a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION, and that's in the past, and the now is the now. What's more important, you've drank out of many different glasses before haven't you and your still alive aren't you."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She may be or may not be "REALITY IMPAIRED, but then again what is the definition of reality anyways, and the impaired measurement process is not always acurrate."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED", but then again, who hasn't gotten inebriated at one time or another in their life, so cut loose and free yourself from all that misfocused stress."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED, cause maybe she likes it that way, or maybe - just maybe, she has wants and needs the attention."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE, cause sometimes a message or anadevrtisement needs to be repeated at least 7 times for it to sink in subliminally to the subconscious mind, as that is where all the real important sorting out and absorbing of thoughts takes place - at night when you sleep."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED, and it's not where the train has been, it's where it is stationed now, and maybe where it can take you to where you have never imagined before. Don't hesitate to jump on the train, if that's your choice, cause nobody's going to ask you for a ticket or a receipt."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR, so just appreciate the hard work that went into her exercise program to get her to the big leagues."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER, but then again, you always shop at discount stores anyways, so why does it really matter who's giving you a break anyways."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY, cause he's always dreamed of being the master controller liquid taste tester of hundreds of practical uses of the stuff shipped out from the grain baskets of America."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN, and never really taken the time to watch a Latino couple really enjoy the fruits of the togetherness of life before."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS, and he gets home, cause that's where the food gets cooked, and the laundry gets done, as if by magic."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION, and then again, that one hair was getting rather lonely on his back anyways, and he would never allow me to pull it out. Now there is something new to talk about when things get disgressive in the relationship."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS, and he knows not how and exactly when he is going to meet his maker, he just needs to be reminded once and a while that his time will come soon enough, if he wants to digress.
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL," and his favorite bartender can't seem to understand that when limit switches were being handed out, he was in the pub trying to see if his still had a functional on or off switch and a lifetime warranty.
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.", but he's bound to have stiffer competition somewhere else on this planet, so one must accept that at least he's trying to competitive in life.
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY," and rolling around in it seems be alot of fun for him, if only he wouldn't get so dirty in the process and come out of the barn once and a while to enjoy the sunshine.
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED," and I am sure he must have been dropped on his head when he was a baby, so perhaps he still feels somewhat rejected, and needs to be reassured that being dropped doesn't always have to happen, that is, unless he likes landing on his head.
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED," but perhaps he just gets to focused on the horn, and not enough on playing with the right hooters.
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE.", and that's just what happens to men that choose to have C brand butts.
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