Getting Old is a Bitch

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Monty

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
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Location
Waco, TX
Beautiful day so gave my bike it's annual wash and wax. It really looks great.

However, when i decided to go for a ride, it wouldn't start. Removed the dreaded battery cover and checked the terminals to make sure they were tight and I didn't get them overly wet. Several other checks and then it dawned on me. Damned engine cutoff switch was turned off, apparently during drying with chamois. :rolleyes :dribble:

 
It’s not just the old that gets caught by the engine cut off switch. It catches my two sons all the time when I ride or move their bikes as I always use it out of habit as a MSF rider coach.

 
You never use the cut off switch so you don't think about, and you don't have some clown that thinks it's funny to walk by the bike parking and flip all the switches to the off position.

You can bet if we catch him he won't have a chance to find out if getting old is a bitch or not.

 
You never use the cut off switch so you don't think about, and you don't have some clown that thinks it's funny to walk by the bike parking and flip all the switches to the off position.

You can bet if we catch him he won't have a chance to find out if getting old is a bitch or not.
I never thought about doing that. Thanks for the idea. That's gonna be funny. Until someone catches me and kicks my ass.

 
Kicking a dirt bike until your leg almost falls off, then realizing that that damn switch is off is a bitch too.
If it wasn't for the magic button to get the beast running I would not be able to ride the dirt anymore. I want to punch out the clown that said life begins at 40.

 
You never use the cut off switch so you don't think about, and you don't have some clown that thinks it's funny to walk by the bike parking and flip all the switches to the off position.

You can bet if we catch him he won't have a chance to find out if getting old is a bitch or not.
I never thought about doing that. Thanks for the idea. That's gonna be funny. Until someone catches me and kicks my ass.
SOooo HZ, what do you have about against getting old.

I can just see the police report now.

Suicide by off switch.

 
You never use the cut off switch so you don't think about, and you don't have some clown that thinks it's funny to walk by the bike parking and flip all the switches to the off position.

You can bet if we catch him he won't have a chance to find out if getting old is a bitch or not.
I never thought about doing that. Thanks for the idea. That's gonna be funny. Until someone catches me and kicks my ass.
SOooo HZ, what do you have about against getting old.

I can just see the police report now.

Suicide by off switch.
Dang Karl.... Oneday year gonna get old like AJ. Might wanna be nice to him ya know?

 
Once I did a front & rear tire change on a customer's cruiser. He picked it up and rode it 100yds to the restaurant next door. After his meal he went to start his bike and no joy. Since his bike had just undergone minor maintenance, it was obviously something I did. Being the reasonable guy he was, he returned to the dealership and loudly mother f@*#ed me to co-workers, customers, friends and family. Unfortunately, that only made the audience larger for when he and I walked next door and I performed a miraculous return the engine stop switch to run repair. He didn't make eye contact or utter a single word to me after I flipped the switch and asked him to try it again.

Getting you ass chewed when someone else gets caught by the engine cutoff switch is a bitch too.

 
You never use the cut off switch so you don't think about, and you don't have some clown that thinks it's funny to walk by the bike parking and flip all the switches to the off position.

You can bet if we catch him he won't have a chance to find out if getting old is a bitch or not.
I never thought about doing that. Thanks for the idea. That's gonna be funny. Until someone catches me and kicks my ass.
SOooo HZ, what do you have about against getting old.

I can just see the police report now.

Suicide by off switch.
Getting killed and getting your ass kicked are two totally different things. I have done one...Not the other :p . If someone is gonna smoke me for screwing with their mind, I may have to rethink this little plan...Then again maybe not!

I don't have anything against being old. I hope that in about 30 years, I'm as old as some of you guys and still breathing. :lol:

 
Once I did a front & rear tire change on a customer's cruiser. He picked it up and rode it 100yds to the restaurant next door. After his meal he went to start his bike and no joy. Since his bike had just undergone minor maintenance, it was obviously something I did. Being the reasonable guy he was, he returned to the dealership and loudly mother f@*#ed me to co-workers, customers, friends and family. Unfortunately, that only made the audience larger for when he and I walked next door and I performed a miraculous return the engine stop switch to run repair. He didn't make eye contact or utter a single word to me after I flipped the switch and asked him to try it again.
Getting you ass chewed when someone else gets caught by the engine cutoff switch is a bitch too.
He's a regular customer now isn't he, since you fixed it so quickly for him? :eek:

As long as he was going to burn bridges with you, I would have stoopid motherf###cked him right back in front of everybody. :angry:

I guess that's why I am not in retail...

:D

 
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...I would have stoopid motherf###cked him right back in front of everybody. :angry:

I guess that's why I am not in retail...

:D
That right there is why I like you so much Wheatie...Remind me to never open a business with you. I could see us now: "Well, if you hadn't opened the package like a fucktard and then abused the item inside, we could probably have given you a refund. However, you're way too stupid, so get out."

Haha.....

 
That right there is why I like you so much Wheatie...Remind me to never open a business with you. I could see us now: "Well, if you hadn't opened the package like a fucktard and then abused the item inside, we could probably have given you a refund. However, you're way too stupid, so get out."
This is no joke. Back a lifetime ago I worked for Sears Outside Sales, before that, I worked in store in Home Improvements. Part of our department was an absolutely amazing assortment of toilet seats. The cheapest of which carried a 5 year warranty. You know those foam padded ones...

I used to run and hide whenever somebody got off the escalator with either an old, large shopping bag, or a garbage bag. Simply because I just KNEW it was some 'tard returning his skanky, stinky, never washed, disease riddled toilet seat for a full refund.

Fine, so long as I don't have to touch it, were good. But NOOOOOOOoooo. They *always* insisted to take it from the bag and show me the defect (usually cracked vinyl on the foam). Guaranteed, it was tinted yellow and shit stains underneath. The FUCK is the matter with people! I'm giving you the new seat! Go pick one, I don't give a damn if you go pick up the $75 solid oak one that comes with a Norwegian nympho to lick your ass clean. JUST LEAVE THAT ONE IN THE BAG!!

 
...I would have stoopid motherf###cked him right back in front of everybody. :angry:

I guess that's why I am not in retail...

:D
That right there is why I like you so much Wheatie...Remind me to never open a business with you. I could see us now: "Well, if you hadn't opened the package like a fucktard and then abused the item inside, we could probably have given you a refund. However, you're way too stupid, so get out."

Haha.....
Yeah...not even the best business plan could save us. :lol:

Oh well. I occasionally have the red switch to off...but I always use the switch, so that's the first thing I look at when something doesn't start up.

 
Guaranteed, it was tinted yellow and shit stains underneath. The FUCK is the matter with people! I'm giving you the new seat! Go pick one, I don't give a damn if you go pick up the $75 solid oak one that comes with a Norwegian nympho to lick your ass clean. JUST LEAVE THAT ONE IN THE BAG!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 
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Guaranteed, it was tinted yellow and shit stains underneath. The FUCK is the matter with people! I'm giving you the new seat! Go pick one, I don't give a damn if you go pick up the $75 solid oak one that comes with a Norwegian nympho to lick your ass clean. JUST LEAVE THAT ONE IN THE BAG!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
I'm leaving work right NOW and heading to Sears. I didn't know they sold those, but I'm buying two. Maybe I'll take a stanky toilet seat with me so I can get it for free! :yahoo:

 
I'm leaving work right NOW and heading to Sears. I didn't know they sold those, but I'm buying two. Maybe I'll take a stanky toilet seat with me so I can get it for free! :yahoo:
do NOT buy the maintenance agreement on the Nympho. It costs a fortune.

 
Guaranteed, it was tinted yellow and shit stains underneath. The FUCK is the matter with people! I'm giving you the new seat! Go pick one, I don't give a damn if you go pick up the $75 solid oak one that comes with a Norwegian nympho to lick your ass clean. JUST LEAVE THAT ONE IN THE BAG!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
I'm leaving work right NOW and heading to Sears. I didn't know they sold those, but I'm buying two. Maybe I'll take a stanky toilet seat with me so I can get it for free! :yahoo:
AJ, por favor grab me a couple also!

 
You never use the cut off switch so you don't think about, and you don't have some clown that thinks it's funny to walk by the bike parking and flip all the switches to the off position.

You can bet if we catch him he won't have a chance to find out if getting old is a bitch or not.
I never thought about doing that. Thanks for the idea. That's gonna be funny. Until someone catches me and kicks my ass.
SOooo HZ, what do you have about against getting old.

I can just see the police report now.

Suicide by off switch.
Getting killed and getting your ass kicked are two totally different things. I have done one...Not the other :p . If someone is gonna smoke me for screwing with their mind, I may have to rethink this little plan...Then again maybe not!

I don't have anything against being old. I hope that in about 30 years, I'm as old as some of you guys and still breathing. :lol:
Oh Gee Karl, I wonder who the Fucktard is that pulls the "all switches off" routine at our FJR Rally Events: Now I remember, it is my illegitimate Bastard Son SkooterG; plus he fucks with the mirrors also, the Cocksucker!!!

 
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