Irish Confession

[fjrchooser]

Irish Confession

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And, who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well

tell me now.

Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy

Shaughnessy,

and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. "You cannot

attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,

"What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads".

 

[beemerdons]

Irish Confession

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And, who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well

tell me now.

Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy

Shaughnessy,

and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. "You cannot

attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,

"What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads".

Ah, the Joys of being a devout Catholic Irishman!

 

[ShinyPartsUp]

I remember going into the confessional trying to think of something to tell the priest that I had done wrong. Being the pure Catholic lad that I was I made up minor sins that wouldn't cost me too much time saying Hail Mary's, so I could get back to showing Bonnie Smith mine so I could see hers.

Now that wasn't a reportable offense, was it lads? The guilt has been haunting me.

 

[beemerdons]

I remember going into the confessional trying to think of something to tell the priest that I had done wrong. Being the pure Catholic lad that I was I made up minor sins that wouldn't cost me too much time saying Hail Mary's, so I could get back to showing Bonnie Smith mine so I could see hers.

Now that wasn't a reportable offense, was it lads? The guilt has been haunting me.

Brother Michael, I just consulted with Father Mick O'Keeffe and he said that all of your sins have been absolved. Go forth Lad and sin no more.

Until tomorrow, at least; or maybe, this afternoon!

 

[Old Michael]

... so I could get back to showing Bonnie Smith mine so I could see hers...

Now that wasn't a reportable offense, was it lads?

Lying to the priest?

No.

Disappointing Bonnie Smith?

Probably.