The IRS Audit

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Niehart

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At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?”

“Good question,” noted the CFO, “we save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the auditor was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question, we save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO, “what we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”


 
Sounds about like the rectum stretcher joke.
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Wait, what? Do I even want to know? Exactly what other types of forums do you subscribe to anyway?
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Sorry Zilla.

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While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'

'And just what the heck do you do with a 6 foot butthole? ' he asked.

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'

 
No offense taken Jasen. That was one of my dad's favorite jokes, and I like it too. BUT, I've been thinking, if we could get you to suit up, they'd only have to stretch those assholes to like 5'3". That would save some time!

 
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