RenoJohn SPANK RALLY ride report

[RenoJohn]

Damn,

That was some Kick-ass fun down at SPANK.

So much fun

So unique

So interesting

So innovative

So silly

So challenging

So simple

So mind bending

........and then you get on the bike and ride and the fun becomes abundent, as the challenges and stories add up as fast as the bonus points. I've tried to give a taste of all the above in my ride report.

GREAT rally George ...thanks for all the fun.

Ride Report HERE(clicky) ...hope everyone enjoys the read.

Cheers from #30, from reno .....John

https://www.goraiders.org/bike/07SPANK/01.html

 

[kaitsdad]

Way cool report, RJ. Good, silly stuff.

And now there's a picture of Turbo and me wearing our underwear on the internet.

sigh....... :glare:

 

[FJR_pig]

RJ - looks like your link isn't working, as of 7:38 p.m.

Edit: Working at 8:32 p.m. - great ride report. Way to go, man, I'm jealous.

 

[James Burleigh]

Great report and pics.

Just one question: What's the Spank Rally? :blink:

Any site(s) I can go to for the neophyte that explains WTF it is and how it works?

Jb

 

[kaitsdad]

Great report and pics.
Just one question: What's the Spank Rally? :blink:

Any site(s) I can go to for the neophyte that explains WTF it is and how it works?

Jb

S P A N K

 

[Toecutter]

All right! Nothing much more fun than a bunch of grown men in bras and panties spanking themselves together. Good Times!

First checkpoint was an apartment where George Zelenz (rallymaster) had lost his virginity ...supposedly many years ago, but I have a suspicion that it was much more recently.

Was his "Behymen" broken there? Wait, I don't want to know. Too much information, and a serious lack of women.

 

[beeroux]

Great Ride Report Reno,

I almost feel like I was there.

<G>

GZ

 

[sychron]

Really good report Reno. enjoyed the great pics..We were with you at the first check (Hemet Lake) but went off in a different direction after that. there sure were a lot of options in this great rally..........Ron

 

[jwhite518]

Way cool report, RJ. Good, silly stuff.


And now there's a picture of Turbo and me wearing our underwear on the internet.

sigh....... :glare:

And a connection is made....kaitsdad is Hal!!!

It's so weird, I know you in real life by your face and name (if I can remember.) I know you online by your handle and avatar. Not always easy to connect the two.

 

[jwhite518]

Great report and pics.
Just one question: What's the Spank Rally? :blink:

Any site(s) I can go to for the neophyte that explains WTF it is and how it works?

Jb

Dude, you must be joking. I've been trying to get you to sign up for the Spank for months! OK I get it...you don't read my emails. You don't call, you don't send me flowers....waaaah! :blink:

 

[stryg8r]

This is the write-up I've been waiting for since hearing a few tidbits from Jerry. Great Job RenoJohn, and thanks for taking the time to put write it down. I really appreciate the time it takes and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I can't get the image out of my head of a grown man in full Sitchdom, whitey-tighties, sitting on the walk of fame getting his picture taken by Japanese tourists. And I don't even want to know what happened on Breckenridge! Yikes! :blink:

Sounds like GZ pulled off another great rally. I really must get out there for one someday.

Now if someone could explain the 200,000 cigar bonus. :cigar:

 

[jwhite518]

Now if someone could explain the 200,000 cigar bonus. :cigar:

I'll try.

You're already read in John's report that the Leg One bonii were classified by which "soft leg" they were available on. You were given the Soft Leg 1 bonii at the start, and each soft checkpoint you could open another batch of Soft Leg bonii. The cigar bonus was flagged as a Soft Leg 3 bonus. This was apparent by looking at the symbol on the map, which you had naturally copied verbatim the day before. Therefore, the morning of the rally when the other shoe dropped, you could quickly conclude that in order to claim the 200k points, you had to visit any two of the soft checkpoints so that you could open the Soft Leg 3 bonus sheet. Your job is to get to any two soft checkpoints as quickly as possible. That way you have the maximum time available to claim the 200k and still make it to the hard CP. Maybe you can even pick up some other bonii along the way.

Deep breath.

Ride, Ride, Ride.

Claim some bonii, but nothing too far astray from your route to the soft CP's.

You get to your second soft checkpoint and open the Leg 3 bonus listing. It says, "Ride to Soft Checkpoint 400 (in Hemet.) Have checkpoint workers Chuck Hickey and Don Moses note your odometer reading. From there ride directly to Something or Other Cigar Store in Palm Springs. Talk to the guys who work there, they'll tell you which two cigars you need to buy, to bring back for George and the rally workers. Then ride right back to Hemet and have Chuck and Don sign you in. They leave Hemet at 3:15 PM."

The double visit to Hemet and the 3:15 time deadline are not known until you open that bonus sheet. If you've been lucky enough to open that envelope early enough, you can score. If not, you're f***ed. It's that "simple." Seven riders out of 25 starters managed to score it. I maintain that George is one clever son of a bitch rallymaster to put this one together.

In my own case, I opened the Soft Leg 3 bonus sheet at 1:00 PM at the Julian soft checkpoint. Ms. Garmin indicated that the ride from Julian to Hemet to the cigar store to Hemet would take two hrs 45 mins. I only had 2 hrs 15 minutes. I was quite fortunate to make this run on time. By some fluke of luck, every single car that I came upon during the course of this ride pulled over to the side to allow me to make a legal pass at the speed limit. It was this kindness of strangers that allowed me to score the points without violating any traffic ordinances.

 

[DougW]

I went to the Julian soft check first careful to get there on a odd hour and from there I headed south picking up boni as I went. While I was riding I was thinking about the map and the meaning of the simbles and the 200,000 points and then it hit me all at once and I new I needed to get to the next soft check as soon as I could. That was Portrero, I open my envelope and looked for the 200,000 boni and then took off for Lake hemet. I got there at around 1:50pm I new the road we had to travel well from my sportbike days and was able to make it back by 3:00pm. I did not know how important it was until I found out only 7 riders made it.

 

[RenoJohn]

Great comments on the rally by JWhite518 and DougW. I think one of the fascinating things about rallys is the "woulda", "coulda", "shoulda" aspect that you go through both during and certainly after a rally.

Great observations and Jwhite went deeper in some of the mental excercises and tactical planning than I explained in my report as I wanted to keep it simple. But the fact is there were many things to consider. Some things go well by planning, some things go well by luck.

I'd sure use a different strategy, knowing what I know now, but so would eveyrone else!!! Every raly is like that. My thinking was by starting north i'd have two full sweeps to bag bonuses and on the way back north they'd all be available to me. Not a bad plan, but I should have kept my eye on the Monica (cigar) bonus as I had convinced myself that it was tougher than it realy was. My game plan was to bag good size bonuses and not chase a monster. That moster was not all that scary it turned out.

Ron, great seeing you at Hemet as we killed a few minutes for the odd-hour timing. When I went to the firehouse and saw that you didn't, I coldn't help but 2nd guess myself. However, that was certainly one of the best stretches of riding during the rally (and there were many good stretches) ...no regrets from a riding standpoint.

GZ, ya you should have been there! It was great!!! Your kind of rally for sure, you would have done well as it was warped to your kind of bizzare thinking, you would have ridden it thinking ...gosh, this rally is just my style!! ;-)

Kaitsdad, you and Turbo with your underwear on is priceless, however the company that runs my server is threatening me, ...they say that with Dave in the picture, I'm in violation of their geriatric pornography policy ......possibly why FJRpig couldn't get on the site for a bit!!!

 

[Niehart]

Thanks RJ. Made me feel like I was there. Great storysmanship. OK, so it's not a word but ya know what I mean.

 

[turbodave_98]

John, the Rennissance Man,

Great report on the Spanking Session we survived. I wish I had your eloquence with words but I have masculine VINTAGE Handsomeness, that you can only pray to have some day<G>

Always good to see and BS with you. I must be TOTALLY HONEST, Hal made me wear the drawers. I resisted wearing them until I was plum worn out.

 

[dougc]

That was some Kick-ass fun down at SPANK. <snip>

GREAT rally George ...thanks for all the fun.

Great report, John, thanks for posting it. I enjoyed reading every bit of it.

Now to just find me a job that pays more and has more vacation time...

dougc

 

[FJR_pig]

I'm in violation of their geriatric pornography policy ......possibly why FJRpig couldn't get on the site for a bit!!!

Ohhhh, if only there was such a thing as a geriatric porn filter I could install on my laptop, I'd have gotten one long ago when I started hanging out here! :lol:

 

[RenoJohn]

but I have masculine VINTAGE Handsomeness, that you can only pray to have some day<G>Always good to see and BS with you. I must be TOTALLY HONEST, Hal made me wear the drawers. I resisted wearing them until I was plum worn out.

LOL funny Turbo. Yep, VINTAGE, and you wear it well my friend. Always great seeing you and trading those shit-eatin' grins back-and-forth. What crazy circles we seem to always meet up at, and if it wasn't for the fun of having you around to valididate the weird scenerios, I'm not sure I'd make the better of it. Good to see you again, ..look forward to your visit to reno ...well as long as you bring Hal that is.
cheers