Best CList ad of the week

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stealth1

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I'm not linking to the add because the pics don't really add anything.

This is an actual Craig's List ad I ran across this morning. Don't peak ahead to the last line. It spoils the surprise.

This guy must be a wannabe novelist;

This motorcycle is the pin you by your neck to the wall and demand your lunch money kind of ride. The Vans and Hines exhaust is enough to make the weak-hearted run in the opposite direction, while the chrome and black paint job tells all in sight that this isn't a bike to be trifled with. The new tires are treaded for a run-you-down and leave tire trails on your soul type of drive, and the new battery will keep running far longer than the demand of any road. It comes complete with a mustang seat for the desperado with enough grit to take the journey, and a sissy bar/passenger seat for those too weak to control such a beast, but who want the experience of going for a ride anyway. The leather saddlebags are enough to hold a true man's accessories like gunpowder, bear hides, and chaps to protect the important areas a rider would prefer to keep intact. It has 10,000 miles of sheer awesome, a motorcycle that has been there, and demands to go again. It has spent too much time in the garage to be happy with my lame schedule, and so I have to accept that I am no longer fit for such a beast.

If you must answer the call of the endless road and the promise that lies beyond sunset, this motorcycle is for you. Don't make the mistake of thinking this bike will turn you into a man, for once on this chrome and midnight beast, the boy inside will fall away and only a man tested and true will have the strength to match its road-hungry soul. The price is firm. I accept cash offers only, so don't even try texting or email me with Paypal requests. Man up and dare to accept the call of this 1999 Suzuki Marauder 800.

 
1999 Suzuki Marauder 800
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Check out the specs: this "Beast" will do the quarter in 14.1 @ 92 mph thanks to a blistering 50 hp @ 6500 RPMs!!! See it's amazing stats here: CLICKY. No wonder the OP was so excited.

 
I'll bet his wife wrote that ad and posted it without telling him she had decided he didn't need a motorcycle anymore.

 
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:rofl: Priceless!

What a great punchline to a load of grandiose drivel. Had me so going that I thought for sure that the sale item would be a 5 year old HD. So, did he put 10k on that beast in fifteen years, or man up and accept its call with half that already on the odo?

 
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1999 Maurader 800
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53 HP at 6500 RPM

47.9 FtLbs at 5000 RPM

1-62 MPH in 5.3 sec

37-87 MPH in 12.7 sec

 
Um, "chaps to protect the important areas a rider would prefer to keep intact."? Really?

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I can think of LOTS of areas I want to keep intact that these silly things don't cover. Oh, and "Vans and Hines?"

Yeh, it definitely sounds like the one of Hudson's "wanna-be hipsters who choose bikes primarily for fashion and image."

 
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