Tactical Vehicle Repellent

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Niehart

Pie Smuggler
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Before you almost get killed by some inattentive driver, draw this compact problem solver and send a stream of military grade auto-stopping awesomeness in their direction. A proprietary harmless-to-people nano-infused formula enters the target vehicle's air intake putting it temporarily into 'limp mode'. Works on all ICE (Internal Combustion Engine) vehicles, regardless of year or model, and includes quick-draw left sided mount and easy to grip handle optimized for use with gloved hands. Leaves no trace while creating safer and more open roads. Available soon - Capacitor-Discharge EMP (Electro-Magnetic Pulse) firing version for temporarily disabling electric vehicles. Contains walnut.

https://www.aerostich.com/a-to-b-utilities/special-products/tactical-vehicle-repellent.html?utm_source=Aerostich+Email+List&utm_campaign=449258b4df-sl20190401&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_d6449189f9-449258b4df-49715207&mc_cid=449258b4df&mc_eid=c6b286d28c

 
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Does it work on wives?
Now why would you need that?
Sigh... As you know times change. There was a time when I had trouble with wives that were not my own. Sadly time and age have removed my attractiveness and I no longer need to defend myself against the amorous advances of these poor ladies.

HOWEVER!!! There is still a hairy backed she-walrus living in the house that I pay for. She seems to lust after me, which is understandable because she is the ugliest of women. I try to act as though I have fallen asleep. I sometimes play dead. It is of no use. But if I had that spray! I could defend myself, I could escape her lustful advances.

 
With my wife I don't need this repellent. I simply say I am going for a ride and she goes away. Perfect.

As for needing auto repellent, I live in Spokane, where drivers are much nicer than in Niehart's neck of the woods. I would like a deer repellent - it is a cluster in the mountains north of Spokane.

 
With my wife I don't need this repellent. I simply say I am going for a ride and she goes away. Perfect.
As for needing auto repellent, I live in Spokane, where drivers are much nicer than in Niehart's neck of the woods. I would like a deer repellent - it is a cluster in the mountains north of Spokane.
With my wife I don't need this repellent. I simply say I am going for a ride and she goes away. Perfect.
As for needing auto repellent, I live in Spokane, where drivers are much nicer than in Niehart's neck of the woods. I would like a deer repellent - it is a cluster in the mountains north of Spokane.
Just keep avoiding freeway rush hour between Spokaloo and Idaho.

 
does it work on verbose pontificating posters ???
I could spray some on myself to see if that works. Or did you have someone else in mind?

You should spray it on yourself to see if it will keep you out of Hell, cuz if you keep this up, guess where you're going.
 
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You should spray it on yourself to see if it will keep you out of Hell, cuz if you keep this up, guess where you're going.
Do you have the lat-long for that place? Post it here and if it's less than a few days away I'll make a one-pic ride report. If you insist on keeping the location a secret then I'm riding to Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory instead.

 
You should spray it on yourself to see if it will keep you out of Hell, cuz if you keep this up, guess where you're going.
Do you have the lat-long for that place? Post it here and if it's less than a few days away I'll make a one-pic ride report. If you insist on keeping the location a secret then I'm riding to Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory instead.
Try 42.4348583, -83.985687.

 
I should have guessed it would be in Michigan. Duh! :) Seems like a pretender though. Plus, anything that has saloon in the name might have too many Hardlies with life-saving pipes. I'll reserve destinations like that for when my hearing gets worse. So long as total deafness arrives before maximum crotchetude then I'm in. Gotta' love that Sunset Blvd, Angel's Pass, and Heavenly Horse Stables are all nearby. And that they called a place which is the "center of an area that abounds with deer and wild turkey" .... Beaver Lake.

 
Contains Walnut.
lol.gif


 

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