Lent has started for we Irish Catholics!

[beemerdons]

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

He is amazed to find a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates in

the world.

When the priest comes in, Old Michael excitedly begins..."Father, forgive

me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must

first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to

be."

The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

 

[El Toro Joe]

The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

Why...was OM to old? :lol:

 

[Dr. Rich]

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in

Dublin, Ireland. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy

armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked,

"What man here will buy a woman a drink?" The bar went silent as the

patrons tried to ignore her.

But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk named Don slammed his hand down

on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She

turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them,

revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a

lady another drink?"

Once again, Don slapped his money down on the bar and

said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached Don and said, "Tell me, Paddy,

it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you

keep calling her the ballerina?"

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

 

[Panman]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

Kinda quite Eh Don? LMAO

 

[FJRay]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

/quote]

Kinda quite Eh Don? LMAO

He's still checking out the view.

 

[Intech]

I gave up motorcycle riding for lent. Being that I don't have any forks I had to!

 

[beemerdons]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

/quote]

Kinda quiet Eh Don? LMAO

He's still checking out the view.

Dr. Rich: Right after Lent, I'll "do" her!

 

[HotRodZilla]

So one day the priest is doing confessions, but last night's dinner doesn't agree with him and he has to make a run for the toilet.

Not wanting to disrupt things too much, he enlists the only help he can find...The parish's maintenance man. He tells the man to just sit and listen and hand out Hail Mary's and rosarys, and everything will be fine. He tells the substitute to just be reasonable and there'll be no problems.

So the maintenance guy takes over. A few people into it, Don comes in and tells the maintenance guy that he has sinned because he had anal sex with a beautiful woman he barely knew. This stunned the maintenance man as he has no idea what kind of penance to hand out.

Not wanting to mess things up, he sees an alter boy walking by and calls him over. The maintennance man then asks the alter boy, "Hey...What does the priest usually give for anal sex?" The alter boy answered, "A Coke and a lollipop...Why??"

 

[Old Michael]

... "A Coke and a lollipop...Why??"

The original was "...a Snickers and a Pepsi."

....Goober.

 

[yamafitter]

Dr. Rich: Right after Lent, I'll "do" her!

Richard told us you were giving up typing for Lent. What happened??

Did you promise Richard to get him all giddy and then get voice recognition software??

Just another example of those tricky Irish. :assassin:

 

[Bustanut joker]

Damned Irish an their fascination with lint..

I don't get it

 

[ShinyPartsUp]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

/quote]

Kinda quiet Eh Don? LMAO

He's still checking out the view.

Dr. Rich: Right after Lent, I'll "do" her!

Don, you gave up intercourse for Lent, but not cunnilingus. Just sayin'.

 

[beemerdons]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

/quote]

Kinda quiet Eh Don? LMAO

He's still checking out the view.

Dr. Rich: Right after Lent, I'll "do" her!

Don, you gave up intercourse for Lent, but not cunnilingus. Just sayin'.

Thank You, Father Michael!

 

[HotRodZilla]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

/quote]

Kinda quiet Eh Don? LMAO

He's still checking out the view.

Dr. Rich: Right after Lent, I'll "do" her!

Don, you gave up intercourse for Lent, but not cunnilingus. Just sayin'.

Thank You, Father Michael! May I have my Snickers and Pepsi now?

FIFY...

 

[beemerdons]

Don replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to

be a ballerina!"

/quote]

Kinda quiet Eh Don? LMAO

He's still checking out the view.

Dr. Rich: Right after Lent, I'll "do" her!

Don, you gave up intercourse for Lent, but not cunnilingus. Just sayin'.

Thank You, Father Michael! May I have my Snickers and Pepsi now?

FIFY...

https://www.houstonculture.org/mexico/irish.html And this, after all we Irish Catholics have done for Mexico!

Irish San Patricio Brigade:

"The Mexican people

They treated us great

We danced at their weddings

And sang at their wakes

We fought in their battles

And where'er we'd go

Hiya le mad!"

 

[scubabiker]

I gave up motorcycle riding for lent. Being that I don't have any forks I had to!

Use a spoon to eat enough to regain your strength, then go ride.