mcatrophy
Privileged to ride a 2018 FJR1300AS
Some of these need a little "inside" knowledge, but anyway, here goes:
The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out. Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?" "Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
Three statisticians are out hunting. Bird flies up out of the bush, and the first statistician aims and fires. Unfortunately for them, he missed, the bullet going about a foot below the bird. The second one fires, but the bullet goes about a foot above the bird.
The third statistician puts down his gun and says, "All right! We got him!"
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are in a hotel when a fire starts.
"Pour water on it!" Cries the engineer
"No, remove the oxygen!" Says the physicist.
The statistician, seeing their disagreement, frantically runs round the hotel starting fires
"What the hell are you doing?" The other two ask
"Creating a decent sample size."
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street cafe opposite an empty house. They see two people go into the house. Time passes, and after a while they see three people walk out of the house.
The physicist says "The measurements were not accurate."
The biologist says "The people who went into the house have reproduced."
The mathematician says "Now, if exactly one person enters the house it will be empty again."
what's an anagram of banach-tarski?
banach-tarski banach-tarski
Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
Q: What goes "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"
A: A parroty error
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 0.999999.
Why weren't sin and tan invited to the trig party?
Just cos.
Why do computer scientists always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT31 equals DEC25!
The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out. Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?" "Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
Three statisticians are out hunting. Bird flies up out of the bush, and the first statistician aims and fires. Unfortunately for them, he missed, the bullet going about a foot below the bird. The second one fires, but the bullet goes about a foot above the bird.
The third statistician puts down his gun and says, "All right! We got him!"
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are in a hotel when a fire starts.
"Pour water on it!" Cries the engineer
"No, remove the oxygen!" Says the physicist.
The statistician, seeing their disagreement, frantically runs round the hotel starting fires
"What the hell are you doing?" The other two ask
"Creating a decent sample size."
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street cafe opposite an empty house. They see two people go into the house. Time passes, and after a while they see three people walk out of the house.
The physicist says "The measurements were not accurate."
The biologist says "The people who went into the house have reproduced."
The mathematician says "Now, if exactly one person enters the house it will be empty again."
what's an anagram of banach-tarski?
banach-tarski banach-tarski
Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
Q: What goes "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"
A: A parroty error
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 0.999999.
Why weren't sin and tan invited to the trig party?
Just cos.
Why do computer scientists always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT31 equals DEC25!
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