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Sorry for the lack of pics and updates the last few days, the Marriot charges $12 per day for Internet access. Well, that, and I was to busy trying to round off the profile of my car tire.

So, where did we leave off with pics...

Oh right, Barbers!

FJRBandit & MFletch rode backroads all day from Barbers to Knoxville. The first stop of the day was in Mont Eagle for a smoked turkey sandwich and, for the first time in my life, fried pie

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This place bills itself as a country store and is chock full of interesting country shit, including their very own hot sauce:

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While we're near orgasmic over the fried pie, the waitress says "You need to try the Cookie Batter Bread pudding topped with crushed Oreo's". She then disappears and comes back with this on the plate as a sample:

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I swear. to. god I heard angels when I tasted this.

In the 2 hr sugar rush that followed we stopped at the Sawanee Natural bridge:

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Now. I mentioned earlier about this. FJRBandit and MFletch (who I give props to for walking across, because he's as big a pussy as I am about heights) went down below the bridge to explore a bit. Their, they found a red pair of womens panties sitting on a rock, presumably to air out after a party. Ewwww. Guess the locals like to really commune with nature there.

After we arrived in Knoxville and got checked in much time was spent in the parking lot bench racing and generally scaring the other patrons. Fencer even showed up and showed what he thought of NoOne's status as holder of EOM 08's biggest douche award:

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The next day a bunch of us rode the Devils Triangle. Or at least some of them did. FJRBandit and I got left behind and only rode part of it. But! We found some other great roads until we met up with the group again. On the way out we stopped at Alcoa good times center and found they were demo'ing Polaris Spyders. Here's FJRBandit humping one around the lot before turning it loose on the road.

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I declined the test ride. But after FJRBandits ride the following convo took place.

"Didn't you say riding a Spyder was like riding a snowmobile?"

"Ya"

"Snow Mobiles must suck"

Oh YA! I almost forgot. Their was a queen in attendance at NAFO, this was spotted in the parking lot in Alcoa:

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No names. But we know who you are.

Hellcreep was in attendance with his Gieger inspired custom painted FJR:

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Much drinking of beverages once again took place.

The next day Yamafitter, BikerGeek & the Pillion Paparazzi, Vabrazyn and I ran the Cherohala after stopping in Tellico Plains Motorcycle Outfitters (Props to them for spontaneously donating $200 in gift certificates to NAFO when they found out the National Rally was in town!). I picked up a new pair of First Gear rain pants so I can finally stop taking off my boots on the side of the highway to put the bottoms on when rain threatens.

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I am Yamafitter of Borg. You will be video'd:

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The Cherrycola is a seriously great ride. Not technical mostly just interesting sweepers with a few light switchbacks to keep you on your toes. After we stopped at the end near Robbinsville I had to go for a squirt. When I was done and turned around I knew I had to snap this pic! Its what riding with friends is all about:

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From there we went hunting a mythical road. I think we got with a hundred feet of it but time was running late and we needed to get back before the banquet. The Dragon was near deserted and the shortest route back to the hotel. DUH! All good things come to an end though when a few miles from the end we caught up to some HD riders shortening their footpegs. I took this opportunity to one hand the dragon and snap pics behind me.

First try:

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Rats. Lets try this again:

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BikerGeek says HI!

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Rain was forecast for Sunday so the Amigo's decided to high tail it out of Knoxville in the early AM. Tom slept in and true Canadian fashion, we said "Fuck'em" and Rob and I pulled out of the Marriot at near 7 on the dot. We made Kentucky just as the sun was coming up. Lets just say we took advantage of the light traffic and leave it at that m'kay. We finally stopped somewhere just south of Toledo and call Barry to tell him we're still going to kick his ass for the Amoeba's comment, but it's not going to happen today. We figured we could reach home just after dark (at least in Rob's case).

So we hightailed it with the intent of crossing at Detroit. Didn't happen. Huge signs on the hwy stating 'Bridge to Canada' ahead. But theirs not actual turn off! We ended up tooling around the worlds biggest ghetto until our lilly white asses got scared enough to keep going north to Port Huron.

We sat in the bridge toll queue for about 45 minutes before we could actually see the bridge. A little background here, I don't like bridges but I do them. I really REALLY don't like stopping on them though. Thats full blown panic attack time for me. I see transports going across the bridge and think "hey! great! it's just the toll that's backed up".

A few moments later it's only the truck lane that's moving. The car lane is stopped dead. No way am I going to cross that bridge like that. I decide I've been on the road for 600 miles, it's getting late, and I'm in no mood to stroke out on a bridge so I decide I'm going to grab a hotel and cross when I can keep moving.

Rob zips through truck toll lane while I'm trying to figure out how to get out of the queue. Then I see Rob frantically waving at me. I'm thinking he found a way out for me. No. He just payed my toll. I'M NOT GOING ACROSS THE DAMN BRIDGE MOFO!! Then he tells me that the girl says we can use the restricted lane. 90 seconds later were on the other side of the bridge after passing about a 1000 cars. Zip through customs and were back in the homeland!

I fist bump Rob. Good guy.

We haul ass and depart ways on the 407 just north of Toronto. He's headed for home. I'm heading to my brothers for the night near Barrie. He doesn't expect me until the next night. I pull up in his driveway around 8:30 or so. Take off my helmet and knock on his door. He answers and as soon as he opens the door I hand him my helmet and say "Hold this". He wonders WTH am I doing there a day early!

Consider this though, after being on the road for over 4 weeks, averaging something like 500 miles a day, day after day, Rob and I pulled a near Saddlesore on the what is basically the last day of the trip.

I think my brain has been frozen one to many times.. or maybe it got cooked in the record heatwave the south experienced while we were there. No matter. So I had an easy ride home today and caught this while admiring the fall colours:

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Good advice and not to be taken lightly.

and finally, the tale of the tape:

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Pretty close to exactly 10,000 miles in 24 days.

So lets wrap all this up shall we. Caution, slightly mushy stuff ahead. Some of you know whats it like, others, don't. I didn't until I did this trip.

Where to begin.....

I've ridden bikes since I was 13. It's been a lifelong dream of mine to ride a bike across the country. Life always got in the way. So here I am on the verge of turning 50 (fuck off!). I've put a good part of the last 10 years of my life on hold looking after my mom who passed away this April. Until this point in my life, I neither had the time, money or experience to pull off a trip like this. Sure the past few years I managed to get away a few times to EOM's and the like. But I always knew I'd be returning to a life pidgenholed by obligations.

The planet's aligned for me this year. I decided I was taking the summer off and to travel. I had intentions of doing a major trip each month. In May, I went to Wheatnesses camp out in North Carolina. June found me in Mont Tremblant at CFR. July - I rode solo to the east coast to ride the Cabot Trail. August was New Hampshire for the Green & Whites ride. Well, you know what I did with my Sept.

I saw the ocean for the first time in my life in July. I saw the other one 2 months later in Tofino BC. I crossed 4 time zones and near every major river in North America. I rode half way to the equator and crossed the Continental Divide at least twice. I saw desert and prairie for the first time. I heard countless different accents and met a pile of strangers who were envious of our trip, and, oddly, my life; If only they knew. I saw some of the most spectacular sights this continent has to offer. I rode when I was dead tired, I rode when I was terrified. I thought about many personal issues when the long stretches of highway provided no distraction.

I rode with 3 great friends who I'd ride with just about anywhere. Yes, 3. Rob and Tom and my FJR. None of them complained once and in fact, seemed to relish all adversity. High praise indeed. Oddly I felt I was riding with both my mom and my dad the entire time. Keeping me safe, and pointing out not only the big things I should see, but the little things I should appreciate along the way. The smell of trees in the North Cascades, the rancher, riding herd down the side of the road in Montana who just spontaneously raised his hat to me. A thousand things that a life is not lived with out.

Ride on friends, ride on!

 
That is the awesomest ride report ever.

I'm glad to have gotten to meet you Steve...you and the rest of your Canadian buds are my buds as well. Met Tom in 2005, and met Rob in 2007. You all are great guys.

Envious in Wheaton...not of your life...cuz I know it's been rough...but this trip will give you something to grin about for awhile yet.

Thanks for sharing...cheers. :clapping:

 
Glad you're home safe, pal!

And that's a terrific wrap-up to your Epic Adventure. There are too many lines that I want to quote and give a 'cheers' to, so how 'bout the next time we meet, I'll buy the next beer and we'll just say, "Yeah," and reflect for a minute or two.

Now, get a hair-cut, hippy. And get a job...

:yahoo:

Maybe write a SPOT app for the iPhone or sumthin....

Don't be a stranger, y'hear?

 
Great RR! Shit, now I have to find a place where I can try fried pie.

This RR had all the good things, good friends, good bike, good miles, good events and a great ending. Thanks for taking us along.

I know your happy to be home but me, I kind of wish it was not over.

 
Steve, I've loved following you three on your fantastic journey, and I can't thank you enough for taking the time (while it was happening!) to share the experience with us.

It was a sincere pleasure meeting you, Rob, and Tom in Taos.

It reminded me why I love Canadians - warm hearts, quick wits, and white legs easy smiles.

Your final thoughts -- well-said and from the heart. (A little effeminate, but hell, you're probably exhausted and drunk.)

:D

Thank you again, Steve.

Great job! :clapping:

 
Thanks so much Steve for the best ever ride report. It was great to meet you and Rob at the Green n Whites ride along with the rest of the bunch. We will be truly blessed to cross paths again next year. It's great to hear you all made it home safe.

Thanks,

Bigbeavk n Lilbeav

:yahoo: :clapping:

 
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Steve,

Great report and reflection to conclude it. As Andy said, there are so many lines in there that I can relate to. I think that is why we all have sucha agreat time when we get together. I hope aI get the opportunity to take an epic trip like that while I still can. It was great to see you all again at NAFO. I relished the moment in giving the "What the F_ck Were You Thinking?" award to Tom. It was even better to hear your version of what actually happened that day!

Many more happy miles!

Bob

 
In case anybody is wondering what 10,000 miles of road spooge looks like. Keep in mind, we rode through 2 days of rain on days 1 & 2 and again the last 2 days of WCR on Vancouver Island.

So today the sun is shining (mostly) and the temps are warm enough that I can give the bike a wash. Well, 2 in fact. The first one I just completely soaked the bike in Simply Green, then washed. Then I had to wash again to get the excess off. Hey, nothing is to good for the big girl who ran the through rain, cold, heat and Robs fart vapours without missing a beat once. I did however notice that one of my horns had come loose.

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It's cool when you can use bug guts to see aerodynamics around highway pegs. Oh ya, Gen 1 owners, you can dramatically cool yourself off when riding across the desert at 105F by putting your foot on the clutch side hwy peg. Don't ask how I know. Didn't save me from turning my McNuggets into Chestnuts though.

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Believe it or not, I didn't have to use a scraper.

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Not very impressive as the worst of them got washed off at WCR. However, what was left was tenacious as hell and required the use 9 molar acid to get off.

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Hey! whats for dinner?

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No nothing is leaking on my swingarm. It's just the way the spooge ran after riding in the rain for two days.

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Now this is art. Look how evenly those cans are coated. A patina even Da Vinki would be proud of.

Anybody want to buy a car tire cheap? Practically zero wear, well except where I wore the edges off on dragon, cherahola, devils triangle, hwy 21 in Washington and on and on...

So the bike is all washed and ready for the next pride parade. Oil is changed (AMSoil which was fresh the day before we started, came out looking almost as good as the day it went in. Total oil usage = 0) as well as the whale spooge in the pumpkin.

She might be a big dirty whore, but she MY BIG DIRTY WHORE, and I love her.

 
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Steve, what an awesome adventure. When you spoke about your upcoming ride earlier in NH, I was, of course, envious. Now, after reading your full RR, even more so. This will be a time that you'll be able to reflect upon for the rest of your days. Though after witnessing that gleam in your eyes first hand, I have no doubt that this will only be one of many more to come. Ride on. Hope to see you again out on the road soon.

 
Great report Steve. Wish I could have gone too.??? OH! wait a minute... I did go I was the one right behind you almost all the way. We had a great time didn't we. We went fast, slow, this way, that way, right way, wrong way. But in the end we did it our way. Your sense of direction still sucks. We were never lost. Just took the alternate route now and then. We saw it all and we missed it all. That to say we left some stuff to see in the future. We met some wonderful new friends. We met some colourful locals. Big Leaf was my fave. Of all the folks we encountered only one was grumpy. Not once did I feel we need a handgun. As you travel the highway and meet the locals you always get the feeling they want to go with you, be with you. I loved the look on the faces of folks when after asking "Where Y'all coming from/ going to?" And we would spill out our destinations and time on the road for them to digest. We had great fun at each others expence. I'm glad we took the time to visit my Uncle in Victoria he truly enjoyed our stay.

I also visited family in Houston.

As I travel along the road, alone in my thoughts, I marvel at how much of my thoughts are about my family. i tend to rrehash my entire relationships that I have with my 4 kids and 1 wife. i wonder "have I always done the right thing? aAre they all happy?" Then I realize I already know the answer. No, I've not always done the right thing but I've always done what's best for them. yes I think overall they are happy. As happy as I feel I am.

At the end of the day I would do it again next week with the same two friends. Thanks Tom and Steve for a great 24 days in the saddle.

Rob

 
I took a few peeks at this report as it was happening, but just read it through for the first time. Great report about an excellent adventure.

 
King Bungie,

The next time (if) you decide to visit "The Land of Fried Pies and The Most Awesome Motorcycle Museum in the World" you know you have a place to lay your head. This was an epic journey and we all appreciate you sharing it with us via your awesome ride report, on the fly no doubt.

I'm reminded of the old Rush song from Fly By Night (1974) - Making Memories

Just keep smilin', move onward every day

And try to keep our thoughts away from home

We're trav'lin' around, no time to settle down

And satisfy our wanderlust to roam

Most of us on the forum understand that concept, but many of our friends don't. For that's the real reason we do what we do.

It was a pleasure meeting you and I appreciate the opportunity to have been able to personally share a small bit of the journey with you.

FJRBandit

 
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First I want to thank Steve for er ummm starting this thread and seeing it through to the end. That took a lot of time on the laptop. And for Rob to rounded out the three some. It was a mix and a match at times... These guys made me do crazy things that I wouldn't normally do.

Really I'm not like that at all. :rolleyes:

To think I almost didn't go. It was Pam that said... you have three weeks hoildays and I don't have any... if you want to go.... GO!

Would I do it again.... Yes sure're BOB. :yahoo:

As for the Scooter idea that Steve has leaked..... All I got to say to that is stay tuned... ;)

 
As for cleaning my bike I haven't got around to it. But when it was home for two days(before NAFO) the shop easily sold three cans of Stripper Juice by having customers try it on my bike.

Hopefully I'll get it washed before I put her away for the winter.

 
Great ride guys, and thanks for sharing.

Now about the Mad Bastard... had my eyes on that for awhile. Need a tiny scooter though.... <_<

 
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