A young man is buying tickets

[radiummadman]

When his turn comes to purchase he is assisted by a curvy very well endowed young lady who asks if she can help him.

The young man blurts out " I would like a picket to Tittsburg " turns all red, receives his ticket & boards the plane.

The man who was behind him in line happens to sit next to him and notices how flustered the young man is. The old man

tells him not to worry as people are always making mistakes similar to his. "For example, this morning at breakfast

I meant to say, please pass the cream honey. But what came out was "why don't you get the f*** out of my life bitch,

you are suffocating me" ".

 

[kamal]

Don't you hate it when you tell a joke and you get no reaction?

This reminds me of another 'oldie'.

Joe goes to jail and is sharing a cell. In the evening he hears a loud knocking from the water pipes, clink, clink, clunk, clink etc. He can't figure out what's going on, but he notices his cell mate has a big grin which turns into loud laughter when the knocking stops, followed by a loud rattling of tin cups against cell doors. His cell mate explains that they pass time by telling jokes using a kind of morse-code, if you like the joke you show your appreciation by banging your cup. Over the next few weeks Joe listens carefully and learns the code. Full of confidence, he decides to give it a try. He taps out his best joke, one he hasn't heard anyone else tell. To his disappointment, the entire cell block is silent. His cell mate says "Don't feel bad Joe. Your joke was great, it was the way you told it."

Al.