That right there is why I like you so much Wheatie...Remind me to never open a business with you. I could see us now: "Well, if you hadn't opened the package like a fucktard and then abused the item inside, we could probably have given you a refund. However, you're way too stupid, so get out."
This is no joke. Back a lifetime ago I worked for Sears Outside Sales, before that, I worked in store in Home Improvements. Part of our department was an absolutely amazing assortment of toilet seats. The cheapest of which carried a 5 year warranty. You know those foam padded ones...
I used to run and hide whenever somebody got off the escalator with either an old, large shopping bag, or a garbage bag. Simply because I just KNEW it was some 'tard returning his skanky, stinky, never washed, disease riddled toilet seat for a full refund.
Fine, so long as I don't have to touch it, were good. But NOOOOOOOoooo. They *always* insisted to take it from the bag and show me the defect (usually cracked vinyl on the foam). Guaranteed, it was tinted yellow and shit stains underneath. The FUCK is the matter with people! I'm giving you the new seat! Go pick one, I don't give a damn if you go pick up the $75 solid oak one that comes with a Norwegian nympho to lick your ass clean. JUST LEAVE THAT ONE IN THE BAG!!