I've become a sissy!!!!!!!!

[evilmedic13]

Got the bike all nice and toasty yesterday in preperation for the season. Wanted to make sure all was working right and charged up. Maybe I'm being premature with my resignation, but I felt damned uncomfortable on her. I thought at first it was because I had no gear on and wasn't used to it, I was only going around my block, seriously.

Then I came up to a stop sign and jacked the brakes,she stopped no problem w/ me or bike. I went down my street after that and just couldn't open the throttle past 1/4 turn. It wasn't the bike not letting me, it was me, I was fraking terrified to open her up. This was NEVER a problem before. I kept thinking the bike was gonna get away from me or I was gonna wipe out. I honestly think if I had gear on, it would have been worse.

Let me make this clear, this was the 1st time in my life w/o gear on. I rode twice w/o a helmet before and absolutely hated it due to the wind noise and flow over me, just irritataed the fuck outta me.

I think accident #3 is the one that rattled me more than I knew. I usually ride as long as the ice and salt are gone, no matter the temps. Now, I'm actually afraid of turning and that was one of favorite things to do. Catching the perfect line was a zen feeling for me, now it's filled with fear of going down again due to an unseen friction assassin.

After my last bike got totalled and I left the ICU from my overnight stay I was dying to ride w/in a week. Now, I don't know what to do.I don't even want to take her out at night,which was my favorite traing time. The recovery may be a lot slower and involve more than healing a few bones. I was really hoping to put a ton of miles on the bike. A few more rides will tell all I guess. And I was hoping to ride to Idaho this summer......FUCK!!!!!! :angry:

Just wish me and my psyche luck. Man, I'm a pussy. If I can't get over this minor hurdle have I become weak? Before anyone asks, no children and the wife hasn't said anything about quitting, nor does she know about this new fear. So neither of those are a factor, just not sure what is. Maybe I'm just sick of crashing I was a little nervous after the other 2 crashes, but never even close to this level of fear. I only went 2 freakin locks total and was glad to put her away. Maybe over the next few weeks this will change, if not, life is gonna suck.

Just venting and getting some therapy, hopefully a happy finish is on the way.

 

[twowheelnut]

Dood,

Breathe, relax, exhale. Repeat.

Trust me.

 

[evilmedic13]

Thanks Nut. I'll be practicing that a lot, trust me, I [SIZE=12pt]DO NOT[/SIZE]like this sensation. Fear is not among my normal emotions, ask my partner. I'm the idiot that goes on the crane 42 stories up to take of a pt, and take pics w/ my camera phone while leaning over the rail, on the way up. I just can't explain it, I think that's what makes it worse. This must be the "unknown" that I'm supposed to be afraid of. I'm working tomorrow, so I probably won't even see the bike til saturday nite, maybe I'll slide her out then if conditions are good(no rain or snow),drunks are a given to me at that time of night.

We'll see.

 

[C&C]

You've already completed the first step (got back on the horse) albeit you were a little shakey. The second step was your awareness of anxiety and plans to overcome it. Like in "Topgun", Viper tells Jester to keep sending him (Maverick) up. Sounds like you have a confidence problem too (please ignore the movie analogy but you do get my point). I'm thinking you need to keep getting out and get your feet wet, and when you get that first 'zen' feeling back, some/most or all of you anxiety will hopefully wane.

 

[TriggerT]

Evil,

Man, I am WAY nervous riding on the roads here in Northern IL right now, nothing to fret about. I hear what you are saying, and I think it will pass, since I have had similar feeling and have always gotten through them. Hell, just the other day after watching that damn scooter vs. truck video I didn't want to ride the bike home from work. I realize that these feeling are what keeps me safe and alive, and that they are a good thing, as long as I don't allow them to dominate my will to ride. Good luck.

 

[airboss]

A bit of fear-factor, is not a bad thing. I too get a little "anxious" when getting back on the bike after a lay off, like not being able to ride due to winter weather.

 

[gypsy]

A few more rides will tell all I guess.

Medic,

Don't give yourself a time frame or that will just increase the pressure. It may take more than a few rides. Maybe riding sedately with some friends at first?

Every season when I start out I go to a Business Park on a Sunday and try to get back into riding mode in the large parking lots and quiet Sunday streets.

gypsy

 

[madmike2]

Normal!

Your muscle memory and perception are going to be a bit rusty anyway. Start slowly, even if you have to find an empty parking lot and practice a few MSF-type drills. This will help retrain your thought processes and your muscle reactions. Once you are more comfortable with your low-speed control, then ride the streets. Retraining=building confidence.

After my recovery time I am also "shaky". The freeway is frightening. Some of the "feeling" comes from my brain having to process and react to all of the input I take for granted when riding every day. Its like my "brain channels" have to be retrained.

A little "healthy fear" might be defined as respect for the unknown. My first ride on the repaired KLR was...er...uhm...interesting, even if it was in the local housing area and nothing above 35 mph. We are "funny" creatures, huh!?!?

Oh yeah....ATGATT, okay!

 

[rockwells]

I've been having similar feelings since my second crash last Dec. Corners and turns make me nervous, and I find myself slowing down much more than I uesd to. I'm just trying to work through them, and my mental thang, part of what TWN sez, "breathe & relax". It is quite the quandry... Still love my bikes, borderline afraid to ride them, for the time being, anyway...

 

[Checkswrecks]

Rx: Time spent with butt in saddle and no pressure to go anywhere fast. The rest will come.

You might also check into a skills course if one's in your area.

Glad you're back.

 

[borrec]

Breath thru your nose and give it time with no exact date. Good luck and know we are pulling for you.

 

[dcarver]

You may be a sissy, but you are a SMART sissy!

Take some time, Zen will return...

 

[Randy]

Not sure where you live, but, if it's somewhere that they put stuff down on the road to aid in traction or melt ice/snow, it's your brain telling you that the roads aren't ready to be leaned on yet. Don't sweat it.

 

[jwilly]

Holy crap, people talking about thongs and now all this sappy shit! I can't take it.

Medic, quit being a puss and ride it like you stole it!! Mind over matter! :angry:

JW

PS: I hope you know I'm just busting your balls. Take your time and ease back into it. Good luck bro..

 

[Geezer]

Get you gear on, make things as normal as possible for yourself.

 

[luvtoride]

Time will heal it. I'm still a little freaked from my getoff just short of a year ago. I still don't feel like the smooth rider that I worked so hard to be.

But it is passing. You be good soon, man. Good luck, Heidi

 

[Kevin Daly]

...and the wife hasn't said anything about quitting, nor does she know about this new fear.

Dude, you confide in a bunch on internet junkies before your wife? kewl :yahoo: :clapping:

At any rate, chill bro. dont you live in the mid west? Man they put all kinds of shit on the road and you know it. Even dry that brine they put on the roads all winter long makes the surfaces feel greasy. Just relax, watch some moto GP and let the rains clean that shit off and you wil be back to your old self.

As for the no gear deal. Imagine riding with nothin but your bits and pieces haning out. Bet you'd be even more freaked. After cleaning my bike I will do a couple laps up and down the block with no gear just to blow dry the bike a bit. It creaps me out every time; the wind, the noise of the bike without a helmet, what am i thinking :dribble: :dribble: :dribble: :dribble:

 

[Kevin Daly]

Not sure where you live, but, if it's somewhere that they put stuff down on the road to aid in traction or melt ice/snow, it's your brain telling you that the roads aren't ready to be leaned on yet. Don't sweat it.

Ahmen brother!

 

[zzzzip]

Pussy, huh?

Are you pussy enough to let your wife drive while you ride bitch? Now, THAT'S a real pussy. :blink:

I did the near death thing, and didn't ride for over 20 years for the same reason as you. I sometimes wonder if I had borrowed a 125 dirt bike or a 125 UJM like I used to ride on the dirt roads and farms, and went back to the riding like a kid for a while, if I would have been ready to ride the bigger stuff on the street sooner.

As it was, one day I just felt like it again, borrowed a FZ1 for a ride and went and bought one a week later. I suspect the light will come back on for you sooner than it did for me because.... I was a real pussy.

But I never rode bitch.

B)