Moto Guzzi for sale
- Thread starter DeadBank
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Toolman
Well-known member
madmike2
Shtirrenuppenmeister
THAT is my kind of seller! Whatta sense of humor. It would be fun to own this bike and mess with those riding WeeStroms.
beemerdons
Certifiable Old Fart
That's Just Great! Man oh man, he sure has my fellow BMW riders figured out in spades! You do know the cheapest part on a BMW don't you? That would be the owner! I can hardly wait to post this to www.bmwmoa.org & www.azbeemers.org/forum
Almost want to buy the bike to meet this guy - pretty funny stuff.
Q: Also, I know you don't have your crystal ball but I need some help. So my boss hates me....but his daughter loves me. Well I got her pregnant and have a huge dilemma now. I mean on one hand he won't know for at least a few months so I could stay at my job until he finds out. But then I run the risk of him killing me. My other option is quit and find a new job. I don't have any skills though....I mean how am I gonna feed this kid without a job. I'm really good at talking to people so I thought maybe becoming a telemarketer. But people hate telemarketers! What do I do? Dec-06-07
A: Move away. Far away. Also, maybe look for a better source for important advice than some anonymous guy trying to sell a bike on the internet.
Q: I see no kick stand in the 1st picture. Is this some sort of optical illusion or does the bike really stand up on its own? Also, I was really thinking about a Guzzi. But then I realized that I'm 25 and my friends would beat me up if I bought one. Dec-06-07
A: There is no kickstand. Italian pixies hold the bike up when it is not moving. They live in the top case and consume nothing but bread sticks and Monster energy drinks. Pixies included with bike.
Q: By the way, can you tell the guy that invited you to Woodys pizza that I would like to join him. As long as your not mad at me for stealing your invitation. Dec-06-07
A: I think that guy was just coming on to me, so yeah, have fun at the Blue Oyster, or Woody's or whatever.
Q: Good Day... I ride my KLR650 off road alot, and the skid plate has been hit more times than the lottery. Is there an aftermarket skid plate available for this model. That oil pan looks like it has a bullseye on it. Thnaks, Bob B Dec-06-07
A: True Guzzi Weirdos do not buy accessories such as skid plates. They make them from stuff that they find out in the barn or at Home Depot. A cookie sheet skid plate would look real nice on there,lemme tell you.
Q: When was the last time the power band was replaced? (If ever) If it has not been replaced, would you consider fitting an adjustable one for me if I win the auction? Dec-06-07
A: I replaced power bands when I changed out the wah-wah shaft bearings and the blinker fluid.
Q: Can I just buy the handlebars? Dec-06-07
A: Sure, dude. $4000, BUY IT NOW. Free Quota with purchase. Just press the little button.
Q: Hey GT, Your ad reeks of humor... I was looking for Quotas, but just bought a used 03 M-strada 1K. FORZA ITALIA! …Would you come off strike for more publicity? The US cycle magazine will never take you because you’re too honest; ever consider writing for a British cycle magazine? d Dec-06-07
A:
Q: You rule! I guess you don't need me to tell you how freaking hilarious that description is, but I will anyway! ;-) Dec-06-07
A:
Q: I accidently smashed my thumb with a hammer, what should I do? Dec-06-07
A: Use the "undo" button on your toolbox. Poof! Fixed.
Q: I wanted a 08 Hayabusa but after your ad I must possess part of you! BTW, your ad is posted on Thumpertalk. Will you please run in 08 for the independents? Dec-06-07
A: Here's why that wouldn't work: As dumb as some of these questions are, the questions that the media ask of the candidates are even dumber.... and whoever controls the media controls the minds of millions. OK, what the hell, I'm in. Here's my campaign slogan for 2008: DEFY THE MEDIA!!!!!!
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Dec-06-07
A: How many upchucks would your bud Chuck chuck if your bud chuck upchucked Two Buck Chuck?
Q: Does it come with the blue Cherokee in the driveway? Dec-06-07
A: No, but I'll trade you the Jeep for that '85 Chevette that you're driving these days.
Q: Do you think that if I eat a can of beans before I ride it, I'll increase the gas mileage? Dec-05-07
A: I guarantee it will DECREASE the mileage you get out of your Fruit of the Loom whitey tighteys.
Q: how much would it cost to have you write all my ebay descriptions for me? Dec-05-07
A: Sorry- I'M ON STRIKE RIGHT NOW!
Q: Hey, I just love your description. Obviously you are a very bright guy (PhD?). I am not a buyer today, just looking. I have owned 3 vintage Guzzis, including a very rare one I completely restored and modified. So, tomorrow night in Golden, CO at Woody's Woodfired Pizza, the ADVRider guys are getting together. If you can get out here by 6:00 pm, I would love to see you. Glen Dec-05-07
A: That's a long *freakin* way to go for a pizza...Thanks for the invite anyway.
Q: Ed, Is this the one with the 7/33 final? Is that much of a change at low speeds? I mean 1st gear crossin' creeks kinda stuff. I have Greg Bender's charts on speed changes, but what's it like in real life? Thanks and good luck! I like your style. Dec-05-07
A: 8/33 final included. 7/33 is the way to go for any 1100 guzzi that you regularly ride below 120 MPH. Gives 15% more torque overall.
Q: Cousin Ed, you are the man. Thanks for the 'future Guzzi weirdo shirt!' Dec-05-07
A: Thank you. You are a true Guzzi weirdo,Cuzin Kevin. BTW, what's with all the watches bought on ebay? Do you wear them all at once? Gotta love ebay for making it easy to snoop on peoples buying habits...
Q: Will other bikers wave to you while riding this? Dec-05-07
A: Not normally. Maybe it's because of the gold sequined jumpsuit, thigh high leather boots and pink feather boa I usually wear while riding. Would you wave?
Q: I have not laughed this hard in a long time-Thanks! Dec-05-07
A:
Q: i am not interested in buying your bike, as i am very happy with my harley. i just want to tell you that your add is about THE BEST one i have ever seen. good luck!!!!!!!!! Dec-05-07
A:
Question & Answer Answered On
Q: You are the m-ther f-ckin' MAN! Dec-05-07
A:
Q: If I fly in to buy it will you pick me up at the airport?? Also, will you teach me to change the oil before I ride it home?? Thanks Dec-05-07
A: Yes and yes. See- I'm a reasonable enough person. I'll meet you at LAX-I'll be the guy with the '79 Pinto with the flamejob and air scoop(for the supercharger) sticking out of the top of the hood. I'll wear a name tag just in case you're not sure it's me.
Q: You know, with the writer's strike going on in Hollywood, you could land a nice job writing for Leno... Dec-05-07
A: Ah yes... Hollywood beckons.
Q: does it have the upgraded FI module? How about the rims, are they Sun or Excel? Dec-05-07
A: Holy Toledo. I pertinent question. I am speechless. Excel rims. No cracks. Yes, upgraded computer.
Q: If I buy it can I retrofit a suede seat like the one on my Tenni? Dec-04-07
A: Drop $4000 on me and you can reupholster it with muskrat hide for all I care.
Q: did you buy chance replace this bike with kawaski klr? i mean the description fits one of them to. Dec-04-07
A: Despite its porcine form,the Quota makes exhaust noises that the KLR merely has wet dreams about.
Q: a yugo actually had 64 horsepower stock, but with all the aftermaket parts, the sky is the limit! Dec-04-07
A: Yes, sir, the sky's the limit. Live your dream, buddy ...
Q: I really like the description your wrote, but have you ever heard of a carriage return? Dec-04-07
A: I have always been able to afford a nice rental car, so I never had to bother with these.
Q: Could it complete the Baja 1000?? Dec-04-07
A: Yes. Assuming you're talking about the Baja Fresh 1000 Beef Burrito Eating Competition.
Q: will it make my penis look bigger? Dec-04-07
A: Yes. Will also increase your net worth by 200%, will solve world hunger and will make hair grow on bald heads.
Q: "HEY! I can fit $100 in groceries in the hard luggage" Is that $100 US or Canadian? Dec-04-07
A: Hell, I just went shopping at Whole Foods. I can fit $100 in groceries from there in my TANK BAG.
Q: Has Ewan McGregor ever sat on this bike ? Dec-03-07
A: Yes. He farted on it and it left a stain that bore a strong resemblance to Abe Vagoda. After this, I spent three weeks in a darkened room in silent contemplation, but I still don't know what it all represents. See- isn't this line of questioning better than "HOW LONG HAVE YOU OWNED THE BIKE" or "WHAT IS THE BEST GAS MILEAGE YOU HAVE GOTTEN ON IT" . KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING, FOLKS!
Q: I completely understand and sympathise about these wackos wanting to ride the bike to Alaska. So... would it make it to Hawaii? Dec-03-07
A: Sure. All it takes is about four grand and one VERY DEEP BREATH.
Q: I have no interest in traveling to Alaska. Will this bike make it to Tierra Del Fuego? How big are the bears in South America? Will you accept Uruguayan Pesos as payment? Dec-03-07
A: Maybe. Big. No. and for the next ten questions: yes, no, yes, yes, nofarkingway, maybe, not without a condom, only if I were really drunk, possibly if you like the taste of pancake batter and (finally) not for all the rhinestones in Graceland!!!!!!
Q: Hello: I just wanted to congratulate you on your description. (I've a '79 1000SP) Nice bike; Best of luck on the auction, and have a Happy Holiday... Bill Dec-02-07
A:
Q: Best motorcycle description I've ever seen...........awesome. Dec-02-07
A:
Q: How did the original engine blow? Dec-02-07
A: Like a Shanghai prostitute. *Badumbum*
A: Move away. Far away. Also, maybe look for a better source for important advice than some anonymous guy trying to sell a bike on the internet.
Q: I see no kick stand in the 1st picture. Is this some sort of optical illusion or does the bike really stand up on its own? Also, I was really thinking about a Guzzi. But then I realized that I'm 25 and my friends would beat me up if I bought one. Dec-06-07
A: There is no kickstand. Italian pixies hold the bike up when it is not moving. They live in the top case and consume nothing but bread sticks and Monster energy drinks. Pixies included with bike.
Q: By the way, can you tell the guy that invited you to Woodys pizza that I would like to join him. As long as your not mad at me for stealing your invitation. Dec-06-07
A: I think that guy was just coming on to me, so yeah, have fun at the Blue Oyster, or Woody's or whatever.
Q: Good Day... I ride my KLR650 off road alot, and the skid plate has been hit more times than the lottery. Is there an aftermarket skid plate available for this model. That oil pan looks like it has a bullseye on it. Thnaks, Bob B Dec-06-07
A: True Guzzi Weirdos do not buy accessories such as skid plates. They make them from stuff that they find out in the barn or at Home Depot. A cookie sheet skid plate would look real nice on there,lemme tell you.
Q: When was the last time the power band was replaced? (If ever) If it has not been replaced, would you consider fitting an adjustable one for me if I win the auction? Dec-06-07
A: I replaced power bands when I changed out the wah-wah shaft bearings and the blinker fluid.
Q: Can I just buy the handlebars? Dec-06-07
A: Sure, dude. $4000, BUY IT NOW. Free Quota with purchase. Just press the little button.
Q: Hey GT, Your ad reeks of humor... I was looking for Quotas, but just bought a used 03 M-strada 1K. FORZA ITALIA! …Would you come off strike for more publicity? The US cycle magazine will never take you because you’re too honest; ever consider writing for a British cycle magazine? d Dec-06-07
A:
Q: You rule! I guess you don't need me to tell you how freaking hilarious that description is, but I will anyway! ;-) Dec-06-07
A:
Q: I accidently smashed my thumb with a hammer, what should I do? Dec-06-07
A: Use the "undo" button on your toolbox. Poof! Fixed.
Q: I wanted a 08 Hayabusa but after your ad I must possess part of you! BTW, your ad is posted on Thumpertalk. Will you please run in 08 for the independents? Dec-06-07
A:
Here's why that wouldn't work: As dumb as some of these questions are, the questions that the media ask of the candidates are even dumber.... and whoever controls the media controls the minds of millions. OK, what the hell, I'm in. Here's my campaign slogan for 2008: DEFY THE MEDIA!!!!!!Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Dec-06-07
A: How many upchucks would your bud Chuck chuck if your bud chuck upchucked Two Buck Chuck?
Q: Does it come with the blue Cherokee in the driveway? Dec-06-07
A: No, but I'll trade you the Jeep for that '85 Chevette that you're driving these days.
Q: Do you think that if I eat a can of beans before I ride it, I'll increase the gas mileage? Dec-05-07
A: I guarantee it will DECREASE the mileage you get out of your Fruit of the Loom whitey tighteys.
Q: how much would it cost to have you write all my ebay descriptions for me? Dec-05-07
A: Sorry- I'M ON STRIKE RIGHT NOW!
Q: Hey, I just love your description. Obviously you are a very bright guy (PhD?). I am not a buyer today, just looking. I have owned 3 vintage Guzzis, including a very rare one I completely restored and modified. So, tomorrow night in Golden, CO at Woody's Woodfired Pizza, the ADVRider guys are getting together. If you can get out here by 6:00 pm, I would love to see you. Glen Dec-05-07
A:
That's a long *freakin* way to go for a pizza...Thanks for the invite anyway.Q: Ed, Is this the one with the 7/33 final? Is that much of a change at low speeds? I mean 1st gear crossin' creeks kinda stuff. I have Greg Bender's charts on speed changes, but what's it like in real life? Thanks and good luck! I like your style. Dec-05-07
A: 8/33 final included. 7/33 is the way to go for any 1100 guzzi that you regularly ride below 120 MPH. Gives 15% more torque overall.
Q: Cousin Ed, you are the man. Thanks for the 'future Guzzi weirdo shirt!' Dec-05-07
A: Thank you. You are a true Guzzi weirdo,Cuzin Kevin. BTW, what's with all the watches bought on ebay? Do you wear them all at once? Gotta love ebay for making it easy to snoop on peoples buying habits...
Q: Will other bikers wave to you while riding this? Dec-05-07
A: Not normally. Maybe it's because of the gold sequined jumpsuit, thigh high leather boots and pink feather boa I usually wear while riding. Would you wave?
Q: I have not laughed this hard in a long time-Thanks! Dec-05-07
A:
Q: i am not interested in buying your bike, as i am very happy with my harley. i just want to tell you that your add is about THE BEST one i have ever seen. good luck!!!!!!!!! Dec-05-07
A:
Question & Answer Answered On
Q: You are the m-ther f-ckin' MAN! Dec-05-07
A:
Q: If I fly in to buy it will you pick me up at the airport?? Also, will you teach me to change the oil before I ride it home?? Thanks Dec-05-07
A: Yes and yes. See- I'm a reasonable enough person. I'll meet you at LAX-I'll be the guy with the '79 Pinto with the flamejob and air scoop(for the supercharger) sticking out of the top of the hood. I'll wear a name tag just in case you're not sure it's me.
Q: You know, with the writer's strike going on in Hollywood, you could land a nice job writing for Leno... Dec-05-07
A: Ah yes... Hollywood beckons.
Q: does it have the upgraded FI module? How about the rims, are they Sun or Excel? Dec-05-07
A: Holy Toledo. I pertinent question. I am speechless. Excel rims. No cracks. Yes, upgraded computer.
Q: If I buy it can I retrofit a suede seat like the one on my Tenni? Dec-04-07
A: Drop $4000 on me and you can reupholster it with muskrat hide for all I care.
Q: did you buy chance replace this bike with kawaski klr? i mean the description fits one of them to. Dec-04-07
A: Despite its porcine form,the Quota makes exhaust noises that the KLR merely has wet dreams about.
Q: a yugo actually had 64 horsepower stock, but with all the aftermaket parts, the sky is the limit! Dec-04-07
A: Yes, sir, the sky's the limit. Live your dream, buddy ...
Q: I really like the description your wrote, but have you ever heard of a carriage return? Dec-04-07
A: I have always been able to afford a nice rental car, so I never had to bother with these.
Q: Could it complete the Baja 1000?? Dec-04-07
A: Yes. Assuming you're talking about the Baja Fresh 1000 Beef Burrito Eating Competition.
Q: will it make my penis look bigger? Dec-04-07
A: Yes. Will also increase your net worth by 200%, will solve world hunger and will make hair grow on bald heads.
Q: "HEY! I can fit $100 in groceries in the hard luggage" Is that $100 US or Canadian? Dec-04-07
A: Hell, I just went shopping at Whole Foods. I can fit $100 in groceries from there in my TANK BAG.
Q: Has Ewan McGregor ever sat on this bike ? Dec-03-07
A: Yes. He farted on it and it left a stain that bore a strong resemblance to Abe Vagoda. After this, I spent three weeks in a darkened room in silent contemplation, but I still don't know what it all represents. See- isn't this line of questioning better than "HOW LONG HAVE YOU OWNED THE BIKE" or "WHAT IS THE BEST GAS MILEAGE YOU HAVE GOTTEN ON IT" . KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING, FOLKS!
Q: I completely understand and sympathise about these wackos wanting to ride the bike to Alaska. So... would it make it to Hawaii? Dec-03-07
A: Sure. All it takes is about four grand and one VERY DEEP BREATH.
Q: I have no interest in traveling to Alaska. Will this bike make it to Tierra Del Fuego? How big are the bears in South America? Will you accept Uruguayan Pesos as payment? Dec-03-07
A: Maybe. Big. No. and for the next ten questions: yes, no, yes, yes, nofarkingway, maybe, not without a condom, only if I were really drunk, possibly if you like the taste of pancake batter and (finally) not for all the rhinestones in Graceland!!!!!!
Q: Hello: I just wanted to congratulate you on your description. (I've a '79 1000SP) Nice bike; Best of luck on the auction, and have a Happy Holiday... Bill Dec-02-07
A:
Q: Best motorcycle description I've ever seen...........awesome. Dec-02-07
A:
Q: How did the original engine blow? Dec-02-07
A: Like a Shanghai prostitute. *Badumbum*
taterides
Well-known member
My wife and I laughed until tears-This was great stuff!!!
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