Rider down

[NoCage]

Wow Jill... that's terrible. It doesn't sound like it was an avoidable accident. As a couple have suggested, see if he'll join this, or another forum, and get him a laptop with wireless if he doesn't have one. I think a LinkSys firewall with wireless capability is less than a hundred bucks. It sits between the cable modem and your computer. PM me if you need help with it.

Also, humor helps. Pass along jokes, funny movies, etc.

So... DH means dear husband... I was afraid to ask. I think my wife would have it stand for different words. B)

Good luck.

 

[Colin24]

I sorry to hear about the accident. When sh$$ happens on a bike the results are never pretty. It sounds like he's going to make it through okay though. And he's got you to help him see it through.

He's not going to take well to being in need of total care. That's not his style at all. Any advice from the male point of view on how to help him through this? I'm a nurse, so I can do all the stuff no problem but how does an independent guy handle it?

That really depends on the person. You'll have to be the judge of that since you know him best.

Around 6 years ago when I got wacked by an errant cager my main focus was to get the bike back on the road and riding again. It took me 2 months to put it all back together, but I did it. So if he's anything like me he's going to want to get back in the saddle again ASAP. You as a nurse will want to make sure he doesn't go out too soon or overdue it. But on the other hand you dont want to come down as the heavy telling him, no he can't ride.

But again, depends on the person. I've seen some people who once they've had there first bad accident just walk away and never ride again.

If he brings up bikes, like getting a new one, help him window shop until he's up and about. If he seems not to want to talk about bikes at all, dont try to bring it up.

I guess the trick would be to take care of him, but not actually seem like your taking care of him. It;s nice after an accident to be pampered and taken care of. But at some point it becomes mothering and irritating. Be careful of where this line is.

I realize there are no clear solid suggestions here. But hopefully its food for thought. And it's still fairly early after the accident to see how things are going to play out. Best of luck to both of you!

- Colin

 

[ionbeam]

Sorry to hear about the accident. DH did all he could by wearing ATGATT. I’ve been through a couple of orthopedic catastrophes and I can relate to the road that DH will be traveling. In my fist catastrophe the only bed they could find was in the cardiac ward. My roomie looked over at me with both my arms totally taped to my torso and says to me, “You poor bastard.” I wanted to say to him, “I’ll heal and be fine, you however, with your heart condition are porked for life.”

When DH begins to get restless get him to an Occupational Therapist PDQ. They can teach him tricks and build him spiffy aids that will give him back a lot of his independence. +1 on the laptop and if possible, a wireless lan connection.

Wish DH well for me! Have him drop me a letter when he feels up to it.

 

[dcarver]

SP - Wow. It sure can all go bad quick. It may be to early for this response, but I've personally found that through every injury/recovery period something positive was discovered. Not that I want to discover much more.. but still you two will find good things during the recovery and rehab.

I wish you and DH the best. You will find he will go from cranky to optimistic in a heartbeat and vice versa. Oh, after a day or two he'll most likely be wanting you to, uhh, how do I say this, well, not all his bones got broken... :blink:

I'll keep you and DH in my thoughts, Good Luck!

 

[Bike Effects]

Best of luck in the recovery for both of you.

 

[PerfectBlueride]

Sorry to hear that this happened.

Best wishes for a full recovery for DH, have patience as he will probably be just made at times because of this situation that other caused for him. uncontrollable accident.

+ 1 on finding other things that he has interest in and doing those things with him.

 

[exskibum]

Wow -- so sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, everyone, even good riders, are victims of inattentive morons on the road. The ONE place I really don't like to ride is on congested freeways moving at speed. There are simply more of those moron hazards there.

DH is lucky you're a nurse. I suspect that with the pain and immobilization that having three fractured limbs brings, he'll be a willing recipient of your care. But he'll likely get pretty bored pretty soon.

If it were me (and he sounds like one to get back on the horse that threw him), I'd want to shop for a new K1200S (with all the farkles and options I ever dreamed of) as something to look forward to. You know better than we about what he thinks he wants, and what his injuries will allow, but I have a healed compression fracture in my cervical spine that wasn't discovered until it was old -- via a bone scan I had after hammering myself skiing. Not even sure how or when I did it, but I know that it is possible that such injuries can have zero effect on one's activities.

I hope he heals quickly.

 

[Rogue]

That sucks, best wishes and hope he heals fast. From the sounds of it he couldn't avoid it. I don't know DH but if it were me the best thing to bring my moral up would be planning what bike I was getting next and what to do with it.

 

[evil_henchman]

Yikes! You both have a lot of work ahead of you and all our best wishes go out to you both.

As for your question. He's a big strong guy and would probably like to be treated that way. My wife likes to accuse me of faking it when I get hurt. It helps in a twisted kind of way.

I'm sure you've heard the old saying "get back up on that horse...."

Get well soon! Both ya's.

 

[Randy]

Sorry to hear about the accident, Jill. I'm no expert in medicine or psychology, so, all I can really provide is my best wishes for a quick and incident free recovery. You are both in my thoughts.

 

[Woodstock]

+1 for speedy recovery. Spend the time together, learn something new together.

 

[zzkenoman]

Our prayers for his recovery, and for the advice? Tell him to take one day at a time, many of us have been thru the same types of accidents. Also if he is head strong, I presume he will try to recover faster than his body says so. This will make it harder to heal, but the best advice is to try to get off the meds as quickly as possible, as they do more harm than good in recovering. Otherwise maybe several good subscription to bike magazines might help this down time.

 

[Warchild]

This is definitely no good, Jill, but we can be thankful it wasn't worse, I suppose.

Really, really bad luck that *both* arms got nailed.... as you allude to, this makes everyday simple things (dressing, shoe-tying, bathroom activities) much, much harder. And frustrating.

Please take care of yourself, too.... witnessing this happen to your Life Partner is going to wreak havoc with your psyche, as well.

Be strong, lady!

 

[mbottoms]

Wow, what sad news.

I am truly sorry you and your husband are having to go through this.

Hope his healing comes quick and complete.

Don't forget to take some time for yourself as well, you will be going thru some stressful situations during the recovery and it will require a lot of your time, don't push yourself over the edge.

Let us know if there is anything else we can do.

Your both in our thoughts,

Get well soon,

Mark

 

[PlaynGuitar]

my goodness Jill!!

I am so very sorry to read this.... my heart and thoughts and prayers and best wishes go out to you and your husband. I know the shock must be debilitating at best. Thank God he is alive, breathing, and mendable. And what an amazing bonus that he has a perfectly trained and skilled wife to help him through the recovery process.

I wish there was something easy or concise to say that would make sense of all this... I can't conceive of anything better than to reflect on the fact that while he may have lost a bike, you haven't lost a husband.

How fortunate that he was on a bike that allowed expert control over a hopeless event. How fortunate that his years of experience translated to making the best out of a terrible setup. Of all the machines he could have been on -- there are so many that could have given him a much less capable platform.

I think its already been said many times before by those more adept and articulate than I... the process of getting comfortable again with your own bike I'm sure will evolve progressively as both you and DH are able to move forward, heal, talk through the anxiety and concern, and can begin to place what has happened into a framework for the future. Thank goodness you have a future together!! Thats step one!

Lastly, I want to continue to thank you for your inspiration and energy and encouragement to me as I pursued the FJR. Your invaluable input, your love for the bike, your joy in the two-wheel journey was utterly contagious.... I'm sure you'll touch those feelings again. If it needs time, give it time.

For now -- thankfulness for a family on the mend is the prime directive.

With all our love and care and concern we remain your buds here. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.

best regards!!

Patrick

 

[throttlejockeyTJ]

Sorry to hear about this accident. Hope DH makes a complete recovery. Different people handle things differently. 26 years should give a good experience to draw from. Looking forward and make sure you find a good Lawyer. Settlements in accidents of this nature don't just 'happen'. They are brought about by a long process of using teeth & nails. TJ

 

[PlaynGuitar]

Jill;

A quick follow-on to my first post... as you may recall, the daily work / commuting traffic in my area has become so awful that I usually won't consider running in and out of work on a bike. I know I'm likely to get trashed on this one, but for me (everyone can call me a wuss!!) its not worth the little time saved over the concern for what cagers in front of me will do unexpectedly without any kind of signals, or the increased risk that is surely above and beyond what we accept whenever we get on a bike. Most importantly though, for me, I don't do it (except on those occasions when I know I'll be riding off-peak hours...) because I simply don't enjoy it around here. It affords very little of what I enjoy about motorcycling.

Once I'm home its a different story -- I am minutes away from some of the most beautiful backroads and byways anywhere, wonderful examples of the road less traveled that echo the wonder of being on two wheels. This is when the joy of motorcycling resonates and amplifies thru every fiber of being.

I don't know whether that kind of thinking is even remotely appealing to you folks. I just know that I modified my routine because the number of variables outside of my control during the commute didn't make sense in the equation. Perhaps your perspective on riding might look more positive if you focus on riding outside the commute... initially thinking about riding for enjoyment, leisure, therapy, and fun. The utilitarian aspects can come later. Forgive if that doesn't help... just thought I'd offer it for consideration.

Please do take care.

Patrick

 

[Iris]

Jill,

that's awful news. I ride with my husband too. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I don't know which position is worse; yours or his.....they're both awful. Of course he has the physical pain and recovery added to his.

I don't even know what to say except that my heart goes out to you both.

-Iris

 

[gr8eyes]

Jill my heart goea out to you and DH. I can't add anything else to whats been said. I can sympathize however. I haven't ridden since my accident in oct 04. I tore both meniscuses in my knees and a collarbone.

I'm not one to sit around and watch TV. i like to be active and it sounds loike DH does too.

Take care and you will both be in my thoughts and prayers.

Glenn

 

[fjr turbine]

Jill,

SO sorry to hear about this, but it sounds like what everyone is saying...that it was totally unavoidable.

Now I'm tempted to stay out of the left lane, but then again I see people zipping over three lanes of traffic

to get to an exit they almost miss, so I guess it doesn't really matter what lane you're in. Living in Silicon

Valley, I see it all. Yukons, Suburbans and Escalades with people on cell phones, drinking their coffee,

putting on make-up, turning around to slap their kids, whatever, and then you have the weavers, trying to

get one car length ahead, thinking it will speed them on their way to get them to work (or wherever) faster.

Pretty scary stuff.

Like Randy above, I don't have much to offer in the way of advice or consolation, except to offer my

thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery, and patience for you AND him. Oh, yeah, from a guy's

perspective (okay, this would be MY perspective, but still...) He's gonna get irritated and frustrated that he

can't do the things he could normally do, so be patient until he gets adjusted...I have a (female) friend who

broke both wrists in a skating accident (sheesh, we're not safe ANYwhere) and had to have her daughter

help her out. She's the type of person that doesn't like to rely on ANYone, but she had to swallow some

humble pie to allow folks to help...she got through, your DH will to. Give him emotional room to vent his

frustrations, but do NOT take it personally. It isn't YOU he's frustrated or annoyed with, it's his

circumstances. Again, do NOT take his rants personally. They may appear to be directed at you, but

they are not!! That's the best advice I can give from a guy's standpoint.

God bless, and hang in there.

Jim