airboss
Well-known member
DEGREES OF BLONDE
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone
rang at 2 in the morning.
The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said, 'How should I know, that's 1200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if
the coast is clear.'
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person
looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde
hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out
the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun
and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
'Is it mine?'
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her
US government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, 'That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware '
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
had been burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find
all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do
they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman.'
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone
rang at 2 in the morning.
The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said, 'How should I know, that's 1200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if
the coast is clear.'
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person
looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde
hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out
the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun
and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
'Is it mine?'
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her
US government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, 'That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware '
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
had been burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find
all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do
they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman.'
