One year on.
Well,
nearly one year since she went. 4:57 on Sunday morning will be the anniversary. I would have written this then, but I shall be on my way to Spain for a motorcycling trip, not back until Tuesday week.
They say that time heals. Maybe it does, but one year isn't enough. There are still days when I am consumed by grief, though these are becoming less frequent. My memories of her continue to dominate my thoughts. Not really surprising, she has dominated my thoughts for fifty-odd years. At the moment I can't conceive of not thinking about her, nor do I want to not think about her.
The good news: life continues, the world still spins on its axis, the house is still standing, the garden is under some sort of control. Son, daughter and grandkids are all healthy, though they still miss her. The grandchildren are far more resilient than adults in this regard, most of the time they are far too busy to think of her, which is right and proper, though occasionally they remember - "I do miss granny" - which usually ends with their mother (and their grandfather) trying to suppress tears.
Over her last few years, wifey was getting very concerned about growing old. She'd had two replacement hips and a knee, arthritis was beginning to affect all her joints, she was very worried that she wouldn't be able to keep her garden nice, nor to continue with her hobby of (quite phenomenal) needlework. She was probably even more worried about the possibilities of dementia, she'd had several aunts who'd had Alzheimer's. She also feared being unable to look after herself and needing carers, though she was very happy to be a full-time carer for her father and for her mother as their health deteriorated. She's always been very self-reliant (though always had plenty of jobs for me to do).
The one comfort I can take is that now she will never grow old, there is no possibility of her joints getting worse, of her suffering from dementia, nor for her needing to be cared for.
Probably of no interest to a bunch of macho motorcyclists, however ... one of her last projects, a very impractical "Sewer's friend", completed with just a few months to spare.
(Click on image for larger view, full size shows some of the intricacy)
The bird (a wren?) has a thimble held in its back, there's a pin-cushion in front, scissors tucked into a holder, and a tape measure comes out of the base. Totally unusable, just a test of sewing skills. It's currently displayed with another couple of her pieces in a cabinet.
Needless to say, photos don't do any of them justice.
