All the local bail bondsmen likely developed a business out of necessity given their heritage. Are you sure you don't want to just leave your fate up to your fellow riders?
If y'all organize your pissin' match and such for after the banquet, we'll take up a collection to go your bails. You have to pay for good entertainment nowadays anyhoo, but, and I'm just speculating here, there may be a few who would choose to leave you two to rot in jail.
Dibs on the beer concession!