dark humor?

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wetwolf

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2016
Messages
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Location
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Hubby gets home from work and the wife goes into a tirade....

"I Cant Beleive You Had Sex With My Sister!!!!!!

Hubby sez. "Well shit, you know i've always been attracted to her and when i got to work, there she was, lying naked on my table....... Wjat was i supposed to do??"

Wife sez

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."THE FUCKING AUTOPSY!"

 
I see the humor but some think I'm a bit twisted.
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Nothing wrong with a bit of dark humor, if its in the right company. I laughed at this one.... the wife not so much.
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I dunno, the weather is gettin better. I might have more important things to do than hang around wiih you bastages LOL
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Ya know what Micheal Jackson liked about twenty eight year olds????

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There were 20 of them

Da Wolf

 
New mortician.

Because he needed help a local mortician hired a young man who said he had experience. All went well for months. But one day a woman burst into his office clearly upset.

"You totally messed up!" She cried.

"What's wrong Mam ?" He asked.

"Follow me!" She shouted.

The director followed the woman to their "prep" room...where they prepare the deceased, and fit them into their coffins. Not normally a place relatives of the departed are allowed. When asked about this, the woman said the new guy brought her there.

He questioned his helper on this and was told the woman was very pushy and insisted on seeing her departed husband and wouldn't take no for an answer. He was just in the process of bringing the coffin up to the viewing area, so he thought it be OK for her to see her late husband.

"Alright, I see. But what my dear woman have we totally messed up on? "

"You apparently mixed things up here!" She walks over to another coffin and says, "You have this man here, (pointing) wearing the suit I gave you for MY husband, and you have him in the coffin I picked out. And over here, here's my husband in some strange suit, and in the wrong coffin!!!"

The new mortician says it's his fault, he somehow mixed up the two men, but he'd fix it....apologizing profusely.

The woman shouts, "Well I'm going to come back in an hour and this better be all straightened out!"

She walks out with the director in tow, demanding to see the flower arrangements and the room for the viewing.

But after only ten minutes she drags the director back to "see how it's going". He tries to stop her because he knows how much work is involved removing a "stiff" from a coffin, much less changing its clothing.

They enter the room only to find all is as it should be. Her husband is in the right suit, and in the right coffin. What's more, the other man is laid out in his suit, and in the right coffin too.

The woman, now visibly mad all has in fact been fixed, simply says "Good!" And leaves the room.

The head mortician then looks over at his new helper and asks, "How did you do this so quickly? We were only gone about ten minutes. How did you possibly switch the two bodies in that time?"

The new guy smiles and says....

"I didn't. I just switched heads..."

 
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