My latest dope-slap moment

[Patriot]

Well, I've had a FEW, but my last one was, spooned on a set of tires. After I was done bolting the front wheel back on, I realized that I forgot to balance it.... :angry:

I guess nobody has put it rotationally backward, right...me, never...

 

[frito1]

I've had a couple of really good ones in the last couple of years.

#1 Rode from AR to OH, camped in the rain at at lousy campground. While in town for a beer run I saw the pee wee cheer leaders doing a car wash. I tipped them $5 to use their water hose for a minute to knock off the mud. I put my helmet on a nearby mail box. A drunk local noticed my license and asked where I was staying. I hopped on the bike, rode to the campground, & never noticed the helmet gone till the drunk showed up with it. I'd hated to been facing a 900 mile ride home without a lid.

#2 When putting big bore jugs on my HD, I dropped on the jugs, fought the wrist pin circlip's superhuman resistance and then noticed the cylinder base o-ring lying on the bench. Worst of all I did it twice.

 

[canyonman]

I guess nobody has put it rotationally backward, right...me, never...

No but paid a shop to do that for me :angry2: . Been doing my own ever since.

Had a good one in the spring while mounting my tapered head bearings, used a CO2 pipe freezer to cool the steering stem and a heat gun to warm the bearing, worked fantastic literally dropped in place. After everything got back to room temp it was then that I noticed the dust seal still sitting on the bench. :blink: what a dumbass!

 

[FJRK]

I won't admit to any of the real good ones, but how many times have you put on your gloves before fastening the helmet? Or gotten yourself all geared up and realized your key was still in your pants pocket? Who, me? Couple million or so.

+1 - yup - countless times. :dribble:

Daily it seems.

Recently on my way to Denver, I stopped to get a bite. USUALLY put my glasses on my tank bag and then put them on after I get the helmet on. Weeelll this time I set them on my motofizz.. Got all together, took off. Realized that I couldn't read the signs strangely until I was about on top of them. Then I raised my visor, maybe bug juice... Nope.. A bug spatted me right in the eye... It was then I realized that they were somewhere on I80... most likely about 200 miles back. Yup.. DOH!

 

[dcarver]

Well, I've had a FEW, but my last one was, spooned on a set of tires. After I was done bolting the front wheel back on, I realized that I forgot to balance it.... :angry:

Balancing is overated. I dare all to try this - install the tire, no balance - then go ride.

Well, I've had a FEW, but my last one was, spooned on a set of tires. After I was done bolting the front wheel back on, I realized that I forgot to balance it.... :angry:

I guess nobody has put it rotationally backward, right...me, never...

OK, I run TKC80 knobbie tires on a Wabs, a DL650. I reverse direction purposely to extend knob life. Honestly, I can't tell a any difference. Not so sure about a more powerful FJR - but my guess is if your tire was mounted backwards without your knowledge, you'd not know the difference. Especially if you're, ahem, *bright* enough to run a car tire.

I've had a couple of really good ones in the last couple of years. #1 Rode from AR to OH, camped in the rain at at lousy campground. While in town for a beer run I saw the pee wee cheer leaders doing a car wash. I tipped them $5 to use their water hose for a minute to knock off the mud. I put my helmet on a nearby mail box. A drunk local noticed my license and asked where I was staying. I hopped on the bike, rode to the campground, & never noticed the helmet gone till the drunk showed up with it. I'd hated to been facing a 900 mile ride home without a lid.

An Honest drunk is a good human, just sayin'. Did you purpose him with a reward?

 

[Barabus]

Put the bike down on the kickstand, but the kickstand was still up

 

[Crash Cash]

Well, I've had a FEW, but my last one was, spooned on a set of tires. After I was done bolting the front wheel back on, I realized that I forgot to balance it.... :angry:

I guess nobody has put it rotationally backward, right...me, never...

Cycle Riders of Longwood did it for me on my DL-650... twice. They're now out of business and I do my own tire screwups.

I just remembered something that happened in the parking lot at work, a couple months ago. My new SV-650 had this huge kickstand tang that stuck out 5 or 6 inches. One day as I was getting off the bike, it NAILED me in the ankle through the boot, with the weight of the bike behind it.

Not only did it really hurt, but it pinned my foot so I ended up slamming into the ground with the bike falling on top of me. Fortunately I cushioned the bike with my body and the bike didn't get damaged, but I couldn't lift it up from the really awkward angle, and one of the other riders helped me up. He was going "WTF?" until I showed him the punch mark on my boot.

Mr. Hacksaw and Mr. Dremel Tool had a chat with Mr. Kickstand Tang later that weekend.

 

[Checkswrecks]

Saturday, my wife takes some photos of kids with MY little Canon point & shoot. Has to put it down and set it on the trunk of her Camry. Our 20-year old son needs to run an errand and she tells him to take her car. The camera made it about 2 blocks.

Sunday we bought a new camera.

Monday evening, the son and I drive to Pennsylvania to trailer home the '07 Wee that he bought. The seller met us at a restaurant up the PA turnpike, half-way between his place and ours. Tim & I were having a great time, till we got part way home and stopped for a toilet break, to check straps, and because he remembers that he left the key in the bike's ignition. He gets the key, hops back in the car, and the skys open up with a frog-choking rain storm.

That's when he remembers he left the pouch of papers for the new bike, with the spare key, on the roof of the car at the restaurant. Same dumb move twice? In less than 48 hours? Arrgghh.

So Monday night, we got to make not just one, but two, trips up the PA turnpike in the rain. Story ended on a happy note, with finding the pouch in the middle of the road and him now the proud owner of a 2007 WeeStrom. (Well, as he pays Dad off.)

 

[SacramentoMike]

I know I said I wouldn't admit to some of my best, but after seeing the damn fool things SOME of you dopes have pulled . . .

After last spring's Death Valley trip, I lit out for Oklahoma. Got as far as Pahrump, NV, and stopped for gas. I wear contact lenses. The kind you can wear for one day and then toss. Stretch it to two if you want to sleep in them and have red, swollen, sticky eyes all the next day.

I took off the tank bag and set it on the tail pack to gas up. 40 miles later, coming into Las Vegas, happened to glance down at my gas tank. GAS TANK? There should be a magnetic tank bag on the gas tank. Pulled over and looked, without much hope, behind me. Not still there, of course. Retraced the 40 miles to Pahrump, trying to see the other side of the divided road and the shoulder. No joy. Nothing at the gas station either. Oh boy, free tank bags! What a cool town Pahrump is! And look, this one comes stocked with a complete toiletry kit including free contact lenses. Plus a pair of glasses. And a Spot Tracker. And some motorcycle gloves, and even more surprises. Lucky me (thought the bastard who found it). Message left with the local Sheriff's office produced no results. Trip over.

 

[Patriot]

Not so sure about a more powerful FJR - but my guess is if your tire was mounted backwards without your knowledge, you'd not know the difference.

I'd be concerned the tire would have more propensity to hydroplane as the water is channeled toward the ungrooved middle instead the edges and away from the tire

 

[Patriot]

Put the bike down on the kickstand, but the kickstand was still up

it's a witness documented at SFO '09, I got in the habit of parking my Feej right outside my room under the overhang...on what would be the porch/sidewalk

one of the days, I rode it up the curb and dropped the kickstand with the bike leaning toward the room's big window

left in a peep's van to visit Cycle Gadgets...when I returned, I was informed the bike looked funny...too straight up...and it was determined the kickstand was verticle and nowhere near the stop angling it forward. A bit of breeze might easily dumped the bike with the handlebar end piercing the window. :dribble:

yikes :blink:

 

[Draggon Rider]

Well, I've had a FEW, but my last one was, spooned on a set of tires. After I was done bolting the front wheel back on, I realized that I forgot to balance it.... :angry:

I guess nobody has put it rotationally backward, right...me, never...

A friend took his wheels to Bert's Mega Mall to have tires mounted, when he got home and started to put the wheels back on the bike he realized Bert's had mounted the tires rotationally backward. That screwed up plans for a big group ride the next day.

 

[Khunajawdge]

I just finished installing the back wheel after having a new rear tire mounted up. Headed to Creston to meet up with some FJR riders who are determined to meet at dcarver's place to have a drink in honor of Two-wheelnut. After the tribute and salute, guess (?) I never used my rear brake the whole way to dcarver's (30 miles from my digs) 'cause when I stopped at the end of his washboard dirt road, at the paved county road, I finally used it & CLUNK! Brake fluid on ground and a dangling ABS wire WTF?

I had pulled a d'oh re-installing the rear wheel and missed the bolt hole with the bolt through the rear brake caliper connecting it to the rear stabilizer bar. The caliper rotated with the brake when I employed it, and it rotated with the wheel. $265.00 in parts for new ABS sensor, a can of brake fluid, and new rear brake hose. Fortunately, the caliper only rotated 180 degrees due to my almost being at a full stop when I used the brake.

 

[ShinyPartsUp]

<<snip>>I took off the tank bag and set it on the tail pack to gas up.... happened to glance down at my gas tank. GAS TANK? There should be a magnetic tank bag on the gas tank. Pulled over.... <<snippage>>

Yup, did this in July while riding with johnnie80s and Coldcut in NorCal. Fortunately John saw it in the road and picked it up for me.

Done most of the other bonehead stuff others have too.

Last one was closing the garage door after parking the FJR. Only the bike wasn't in quite enough, and the door landed on the rear rack of the bike. No damage... but a head slap moment.

 

[FargoFeej]

About three weeks after getting my 07AE this April I returned from work on it, about 6pm and bright daylight. As usual my garage door opener was in my left front pocket. (AE, don't need my left hand on the clutch, you see.) I push the button. As I slowly pull up around my SUV I am looking at my path to avoid sideswiping the Toyota. As I come around the front of the 4Runner I notice that the garage door isn't moving up and I'm just 5 or 6 feet away from it. I hit the opener button again, but no movement. I'm was new rider (3 weeks then, still am new at 4 months) and got flustered and didn't stop in time. I end up hitting the garage door at a few MPH at a 45 degree angle, dropping the bike on its left side and scraping the door up a bit. Swearing a blue streak, I unlock the front door to my house, go into the garage and hit the indoor wall switch for the door. Nothing. Dang power to the neighborhood was off! Now I never trust the door and wait until I see it at eye level before I head up the driveway.

 

[Patriot]

well, OK, when things aren't going right or I'm feeling disillusioned and down, my brain cells go on vacation...

went to the Smokies with some friends last Friday Aug 13th (yeah, I shudda known...came the closest to dying on the bike in Chattanooga as rush hour traffic is at a standstill on the interstate...out of sight over a hill :angry2: )

well, anyway, just barely avoided the high side with the back wheel dancing side to side chirping and locking up, but I digress.

trip sucked with incompatible fellow riders and some really bad weather.

for my sanity, I decided to return home on my own and left Pigeon Forge at 7pm planning to arrive home at 8am. I actually mostly like riding at night since I have two full sets of Clearwater Space Shuttle lights, I hardly ever see any cops, and traffic is generally light. Also no worries about rush hour in big cities. During the trip, it only rained in the afternoon, and was dry once it got dark.

so I'm trucking along at my usual 10 over the limit, and begin planning my stops using my Zumo. Decide to ride past Chattanooga, take the Birmingham exit (which is pretty easy to miss with a quick left exit) and then look for a fuel and snack stop. Punch in the Pilot Truck Stop and it's in the middle of nowhere with the exit and service roads unlighted. Also, the only complaint up to this point and all the way home is the large number of 18 wheelers on the road.

Well as I get to Chattanooga, the skys open up and I'm riding in the rain as I exit to the Pilot. The road ebs and turns with a truck in front and another behind me as I pull into the station and to the gas pump. Fuel and go inside and find those big hot dogs on the rollers. Make my purchases and consume two of these, no buns, and a smigeon of chili sauce to dip them in.

Well as I rest my butt in a booth, my innards start rumbling. Head for the head (toilet) and the big handicapped stall on the end is available. Sit down, do my thing including a rest, and pull out my iPhone and bury my face into it checking email, facebook, messaging, etc. A while goes by and it's time to finish up including the paperwork. I put the iPhone on an available shelf on one side and pull paper off the roller unit on the opposite side. Was hearing the rain on the roof and now it's silent. Kinda rush out, mount up, and head out. I'm in the habit of checking my pockets for wallet and phone once I'm cruising. Oh poo poo, no phone. Must still be in the stall. Dang Dang Dang. Start looking for the next exit which is 5 miles ahead. Calculate I'm gonna get back after about 15-20 minutes. Saying my prayers just as I ride into a wall of water. Guess the front is moving South...same as where I'm going. Well, get back, park under the overhang, and head inside. There's a line at the counter, so skip asking if it was turned in, and head for the big stall. It's sitting right where I left it and I let out a breath of relief.

Well, it ain't over. I mount up and fail to punch in my next destination heading home. It still has the truck stop punched in. I head for the service road and am behind a big, slow moving rig. I get to close and can't see the signs in the dark. Yes, I follow him blindly, and head north in the wrong direction back to Chattanooga. It was 5 minutes later when I punched in "Go Home" that I realize it. Went another 5 miles to an exit and head back. I figure I waisted 45 minutes with my circus act.

Geez. I am happy to report the rest of the trip was without incident and I got home fine around 9am. I decided to stop right outside New Orleans to avoid that crawling traffic of rush hour morning traffic. Had a nice breakfast at a Toddle House and read the paper to catch up.

 

[HotRodZilla]

On this last Monday, Tuesay and Wednesday, I worked from 0800 in the morning to 0100 every night. So basically, I was up at 0630, and didn't get back to bed until about 20 hours later, giving me 4 hours of sleep every night. Three days in a row of this takes it's toll.

So, Thursday morning, I dropped my daughter off at school and stopped at a nearby Starbucks to have coffee with a couple of buddies; glad that the three day torture test was over. While I was there, my wife called and asked if I would take her someting to drink.

So, before I leave, I get her drink, say 'bye' to everybody an walk out the door. I reach for my left pocket, where my keys are supposed to be and realize they are gone. Now I start to think about what I did with them, and I honestly cannot remember. Then I start to kind of panic. Because of the work I do, my Unit is basically a rolling gun locker. Rifles, pistols, less-lethal weapons, body armor, all sorts of stuff...And the key with the access to all this stuff is where? You guessed it, on my key ring.

All I can think is, "Holy shit, someone got my keys and now my unit is empty" or nearly as bad, I have simply lost them, and I'm gonna have to call for a ride." I start to spin around to walk back into the Starbucks, and something hits my right pinky finger...My keys were hanging from my right index finger underneath my wife's drink.

What a relieved dumbass I was. I frigging needed some sleep.

 

[Fairlaner]

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